Musings on Other Cultures XII: Eating Dogs

Dogs Popular on Chinese Dinner Plates

China is the world's greatest consumer of dog meat, eating as many as 20 million dogs a year. Many die horrible deaths in live animal markets. But in Beijing, Dog restaurateur Wang Qiming says business is good. "There are many who eat dogs. Before, young people didn't, but now they do." Dog meat is claimed to be a warming winter dish that's good for the circulation and sperm.

You might say, “Certainly, if cannibalism is acceptable, then eating must dogs be acceptable.”

And I say, “Not so fast!”

The trouble is that, morally, dogs have never exploited the working class, dogs have never spilled our children’s blood for oil, and dogs have never voted for Bush. Nor have dogs practiced union busting, nor have they oppressed the Palestinian people, nor have they secretly tapped our every telephone conversation.

Dogs do not practice genocide against Islam.

Dog-eating is practiced by the Chinese, who, although superior to white people (by far!), are not on the same plane as the truly oppressed in Africa and, until recently, Venezuela.

And yet. And yet, and yet, and yet.

We must remember that the Chinese culture is superior to ours – simply because it isn’t ours! True, they are being exposed to the wretched corrupting influences of capitalism these days, but The Party lives on – and will eventually return to the glory days of Mao.

In summary, opposing dog-eating is the equivalent of promoting a Chinese Holocaust.

I loathe racists.