Thursday, October 30, 2008
Monday, October 27, 2008
Friday, October 24, 2008
As usual, my busy schedule does not allow me the luxury of reading books. But I can nevertheless assure you that this is THE book that you want your child to read.
I don't recall anything notable about children's books about, say, John Kerry or Al Gore, but I can assure you that "Son of Promise, Child of Hope" is worth it!
The book is so penetrating, so compassionate, and so poetic that I am willing to accept that there might be a God who has been guiding Barack Obama along his monumental journey into our hearts. For even as the book acknowledges, God has in fact spoken with Barack. And as we know, if a child's book says it, then it must be true.
For his journey is our journey, one of overcoming oppression, overcoming racism, and overcoming the slave-chains of the corporate war-whore Zionists and their capitalist lackeys.
In a few weeks, all of us will be the happy subjects of God, as He reveals himself through the body of President Barack Obama. President today, President tomorrow, and hopefully President for Life. (No, not that kind of life, you murderous Christianists.)
God for Life.
I am ready to obey.
Teachers: Please please please persuade your school to spend its budget on several copies of this book for each child, so that he/she (or any combination of transgendered children) can have multiple copies for home, the playground, or wherever their National Service detail happens to be.
I have already filed a lawsuit with my university to replace its library with a new "Barack Obama Library" to contain nothing but this book.
Soon, the Hitler-Chimp will be replaced by God.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Don't take my word for electing President Obama; here is a partial list of other progressive people and nations that support the candidacy of Barack.
Starting with, of course, the one nearest to my heart, the Communist Party USA:
"If Obama’s candidacy represented nothing more than the spark for this profound initiative to unite the working class and defeat the pernicious influence of racism, it would be a transformative candidacy that would advance progressive politics for the long term."And...
The Democratic People's Republic of Korea
"Pyongyang favors Obama because he has vowed to meet leaders of rogue states, such as the North Korean leader, without conditions if elected."Columbian Liberation Group, FARC
"Obama will not support "Plan Colombia" nor will he sign the TLC (Colombian Free Trade agreement."Fidel Castro:
"Obama without doubt is, from the social and human point, the most advanced candidate running for the U.S. presidency."Hamas
“We like Mr. Obama, and we hope that he will win the elections."Louis Farrakhan
"This young man is the hope of the entire world that America will change and be made better."The Iranian Parliament
"We are leaning more in favor of Barack Obama because he is more flexible and rational."Father Michael Pfleger
Libyan Leader Mu'ammar Al-Qadhafi
...and the heartwarming and inspirational Pastor Jeremiah Wright.
People! Ask yourselves: If Barack Obama is getting their support, how could his victory possibly be a bad thing?
Thank you, commenter Chimpeach, for pointing out even more endorsements:
Syrian President Bashar Assad
"...Syriawants Senator Obama to win the presidential election to help Syrian President Bashar Assad bring back prosperity to Syria..."
Ortega said he has "faith in God and in the North American people, and above all in the youth, that the moment of great change in the U.S. will come and it will act differently, with justice and equality toward all nations"Update II:
The New Black Panther Party
Now my brain is convulsing: The American Nazi Party
"We have a black man, who loves his own kind, belongs to a Black-Nationalist religion, is married to a black women--when usually negroes who have ‘made it’ immediately land a white spouse as a kind of prize--that’s the kind of negro that I can respect."
Thank you for the tip, Mr. Shlemazl...
Supposedly, a 20-year old McCain volunteer was beaten by a "6-foot 4-inch black man" who then carved the letter "B" on her face. The claim is that he saw her McCain bumper sticker and then attacked.
I call bullshit!
A) It is obvious that the injuries are fake and/or self-inflicted.
B) The accusation is racist.
C) Such an event is physically impossible. Warm Sun People do not attack Cold Ice People. (You can read more about Sun People and Ice People here.)
Need more evidence? Well, here you go: The forensics experts speak out!
I am FAR more frightened of Sarah Palin than any fictitious racist claim about "black men".
Besides, she had it coming.
God DAMN Amerikkka!
Apparently, this video has been around for a few months, though I just happened to come across it.
It alone provides all the reasons you need for voting for Barack Obama.
And to think that all the while, my main source of inspiration was this:
Posted by Professor Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD at 6:12 AM
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
I think I will write a children's story book. And when I do, it will include this story:
Once upon a time, there was an ant and a grasshopper. The ant was a wealthy capitalist who owned a chain of "big box" stores, and spent all summer counting his money, while the grasshopper labored very hard making money for the ant.
In short, the ant exploited the grasshopper.
All summer long, the ant would smoke cigars, drink martinis, and see prostitutes. The grasshopper would simply work as a slave for the ant and turn over his meager pay to A.N.S.W.E.R., The Rachel Corrie Memorial Fund, and the Barack Obama campaign.
Then the winter came. It was a cold and dark winter, and the grasshopper had nothing to eat. The bitter temperatures were caused by global warming, as the ant-made pollutants created heat pockets that actually lowered temperatures.
The grasshopper was hungry, for he had no money left. And so, he approached the ant: "Ant, my dear dear ant, please find it in your heart to spare just a tiny morsel of food so that I and my family might survive to see one more day."
The ant thought about this humble request. After several days of contemplation, the ant went to the grasshopper's house and approached the grasshopper's family. And then, without any hesitation, the ant raped the grasshopper's daughter so violently that she would have preferred death instead. However, the ant realized what the consequences of his actions might be, and so went from abortion clinic to abortion clinic, tossing gasoline bombs, dismembering doctors, and raping nurses. All in the name of Jesus, he would say. It is what the bible told him to do.
And so, without abortions, the grasshopper population multiplied far beyond its scientifically-calculated sustainable optimality. And all these new grasshoppers were hungry.
By the spring, half the grasshopper population died from either starvation or from the ant's insistence on sending grasshoppers to far-off lands to launch wars against innocent Islamic grasshoppers.
However, that summer, the grasshopper got himself a different job -- at The United States Department of Housing and Urban Development. His job was "Assistant Deputy Analyst" in the HOPE program, which mandates that ants pay the mortgages of those home-owning grasshoppers who have more pressing needs than to pay fort heir own homes. The grasshopper's responsibilities included "being able to analyze and prepare official HOPE documents while demonstrating proficiency in equivalent tasks and programs". In practice, this required the demands of attending many meetings and learning how to use "email".
Much of the HOPE time was spent making contributions to United for Peace and Justice and The Nation of Islam from the grasshopper's desk.
And once again, hunger arrived in the winter.
And the grasshopper approached the ant: "Hey ant, I'm gettin' in your face this year, know what I'm sayin? You owe me, unnerstan'? I got demands and you better respec' them."
The ant returned to his guarded estate, and a few days later, received a visit from someone unfamiliar. It was a grasshopper, but one whom he had never before met.
This new grasshopper said, "Ant...I am here to collect your money, which I will then give to the other grasshoppers, and will keep some for myself. If you do not agree, I will, at gunpoint, drag you to a prison cell where you will be anally violated while your life rots away in isolation."
The new grasshopper had a badge. It said "I.R.S."
And the ant turned over his plundered wealth to the I.R.S. grasshopper.
Forevermore, for the rest of his life, the ant, with his bottomless pit of money, would give and give to the grasshoppers -- providing for their food, their health care, their housing, their homes, and everything else that the grasshoppers could ever want or need, as determined by their educated leaders.
Moral: Rich capitalist ants have an endless supply of wealth that was stolen from the working class. It can never be depleted and it will always be there for taking -- by any means. It is not theirs, it belongs to the people, and shall be controlled by the people's leaders.
Kids: Let's educate your parents, kill the capitalists, and live in a Socialist Paradise!
God DAMN Amerikkka!
Cross posted at The People's Cube
Thursday, October 16, 2008
I was very proud of Barack Obama at last night's debate; he has been listening to me!
I played back this debate fourteen times already (with the McCain parts erased), and although I would like to post the entire transcript here, fourteen times over, I will only select the best of Barack:
And the financial rescue plan that Senator McCain and I supported is an important first step. And I pushed for some core principles: making sure that taxpayer can get their money back if they're putting money up.
Of course everyone will get their money back. That’s why they must contribute, whether or not they think it’s a good idea. If this was a bad idea, we would not make the taxpayers contribute.
Making sure that CEOs are not enriching themselves through this process.
Again, correct. When CEOs become rich, everyone else gets a smaller piece of the pie.
I want to end the tax breaks for companies that are shipping jobs overseas and provide a tax credit for every company that's creating a job right here in America.
This is only fair. Taxpayers need to pay more in order to ensure that Americans spend less time working in industries like aeronautics and pharmaceuticals -- and instead recover the jobs that are done abroad, like sewing buttons on clothing.
That's why we included in the financial package a proposal to get homeowners in a position where they can renegotiate their mortgages.
Trivial. Simply force people who are making mortgage payments to also make payments for those who are not making mortgage payments. They shall be sent two bills: One for their own homes, and one for the homes of those who cannot pay.
And 95 percent of working families, 95 percent of you out there, will get a tax cut.
And when we teach the remaining 5% what it is like to really pay taxes, it will have no effect whatsoever on prices that the remaining 95% pay.
And that requires us to make some important choices…
I weep with joy at lines like this. To see the best, the brightest, and the most concerned make important choices for the people!
Then Exxon Mobil, which made $12 billion, record profits, over the last several quarters, they can afford to pay a little more so that ordinary families who are hurting out there -- they're trying to figure out how they're going to afford food, how they're going to save for their kids' college education, they need a break.
That’s right, you selfish bastards at Exxon Mobil. How about ponying up a little more, like maybe a dime a week, to provide the starving people, the near-corpses lying in the gutter, the most basic sustenance so that you can whip some more work out of them.
But there is no doubt that we've been living beyond our means and we're going to have to make some adjustments.
Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!! Wayyyy beyond our means! Notwithstanding the Exxon Mobil inflicted famine referenced above, the rest of us are driving cars (we need more buses, peeps!), eating too much fast food (nationalized food co-ops, my dream…), and using too much energy (you don’t have to actually cook potatoes, you know).
…if we're going to focus on lifting wages that have declined over the last eight years and create jobs here in America, then Democrats, independents and Republicans, we're going to have to be able to work together.
I believe that universal conscription into an anti-capitalist youth corps will create plenty of jobs when they burn the banks, put wrecking balls to Walmart, and trash rich people’s homes. Full employment will be achieved to fix everything so that we can destroy it again.
Bill Ayers is a professor of education in
A professor and a friend of mine, I might add. Those qualifications should negate anything else about him, however fabricated.
ACORN is a community organization…
The evidence is in, not guilty!
…it is absolutely critical that we develop a high fuel efficient car that's built not in
As aggressors against the Democratic People’s
And when it comes to
Thank you, Barack, for pointing that out. And don’t forget:
If you want to do the right thing with your employees and you want to provide them health insurance, we'll give you a 50 percent credit so that you will actually be able to afford it.
That’s half way to a 100% tax credit, which is on the path to a 100% government subsidy. Fact: When one group of taxpayers gives money to a second group taxpayers, then the second group can afford things (like healthcare) easier, and there is no effect on the first group – like the employees who paid the taxes to begin with. If you cannot understand that, then you truly are hopelessly uneducable.
All I want to do, if you've already got health care, is lower your costs.
Fact: Costs can always be lowered when a leader wills them to be lower.
And finally, this question:
The question is this: the
And Barack’s answer:
…we are going to have to invest…
An investment! Clearly, spending more than any other country is not enough, and only an investment can remedy this.
…recruit a generation of new teachers…
More teachers! Quantity always equals quality, so more is more.
… an army of new teachers…
Armies of teachers! I hope the AFT does not object.
…give them higher pay…
Highest costs per capita in the world…pay them more! Wait…I’m in academia, so I need more, too! Pay me more! I am entitled to more!
… and I think it's important for us to make college affordable….
So true! So true! And here it comes…
And that's why I've proposed a $4,000 tuition credit, every student, every year, in exchange for some form of community service, whether it's military service, whether it's Peace Corps, whether it's working in a community.
Gaaaaaa!! Tuition credits! Community service! Conscription for the common good! I played that part back well over one hundred times. If the leader wills it, it shall be free!!!! Please, Barack! Let’s give every student $100,000 per semester to attend college! That will really drive tuition down.
.. If we do those things, then I believe that we can create a better school system.
And then we can do the same thing to everything else, from food to clothing to manufacturing to the arts to research to literature to the entire realm of anything and everything that anyone does anywhere, anytime, and anyplace.
I turn all decisions to you, my new leader -- for if you will it, it will happen.
God DAMN Amerikkka!
God DAMN Amerikkka!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
"You Make It, We Take It"
The above slogan (which I advise Barack Obama to use) is catchy, truthful, heartfelt, and compassionate.
Of course, I am referring to Barack's pledge to ask the top-income 5% to return their stolen wealth to the bottom 95% -- who we, as benevolent guardians, must care for.
This rests on the basic economic theory that a society's health is best determined by how much rich people pay in taxes. In academic circles, we jest that "taxing is relaxing". (The humor in that phrase is derived from the fact that "tax" rhymes with "relax". To be sure there is nothing funny about the concept. And there is absolutely nothing to laugh at in hard economic times like these.)
Here is how we are all better off when the rich people contribute their so-called "earnings" back to the community: Say you are a filthy blood-sucking moneybags pig, like an owner of Walmart. And you make your money selling...what does Walmart sell anyway? Weapons to Zionists? Probably. So, let's say that a poor person comes into Walmart looking for a way to disembowel Palestinian babies...
Wait, this will not work! Zionists are rich, and are therefore not compelled to shop at Walmart.
So, let's instead say that a person of color is coerced by capitalist exploitation to buy their tofu at Walmart. Normally, tofu costs $10 per pound. (At least, that is what I pay at the food coop.) So, Walmart probably charges $100 per pound. This, clearly, is obscene. So, we (that is, the government) will apply a tax on Walmart. Let's say the tax is $25. Ha ha! Fuck you Walmart, you now have to add a $25 tax to the $100 price, and charge $125 a pound! See? The price was $100, but under Barack, it will be $125. But $25 of that is a tax, so Walmart loses!
At that point, Walmart will be forced to contribute that $25 tax to Barack and our new government, whereupon it will be used to further the greater good by establishing a national-service youth corps, purchasing windmills from government contractors, and investing in insured no-interest housing mortgages.
Nothing can go wrong with this plan. Ever.
Meanwhile, 95% of the population is protected because they are not being taxed. The tax is applied to Walmart instead, and there is no possible way this can translate into a negative for people shopping at Walmart. In fact, hurting Walmart is just one of many benefits of this tax plan.
When the rich pay, everyone wins.
Win, win, win, win, win.
Cross posted at The People's Cube
Monday, October 13, 2008
The United States needs a new economic stimulus plan that pumps billions of dollars into infrastructure projects and budget relief for cash-strapped state and local governments, Democratic lawmakers said on Sunday.
U.S. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi last week said a $150 billion economic stimulus plan was needed to help counteract a faltering economy shaken by a paralyzed banking system and steep stock market falls.
Here's how it works: When people pay taxes instead of saving money in banks, the banks shrivel and die. Hence, death replaces paralysis. Furthermore, stock prices (which represent mass opinion of future profitability) would then increase for obvious reasons. You do not agree that the reasons are obvious? Then you are an uneducable Hitler-pig who burns crosses McCain rallies.
The Congress earlier this year passed a $152 billion stimulus package that provided tax rebates of up to $600 per adult to support consumer spending at a time of rising energy and food costs. Most of that money has already been spent, and many economists say financial turmoil will squeeze the economy into recession in the fourth quarter.
"Not only is Wall Street frozen, but Main Street is in real trouble. A stimulus aimed at Main Street makes sense," New York Sen. Charles Schumer told CNN.
He said the plan should "get into the guts of the economy" by boosting spending on infrastructure such as roads, sewer and water projects.
Cross-posted at The People's Cube
Friday, October 03, 2008
You: I want to buy a $100,000 house because I can only afford to spend $100,000.
Capitalist: Nonsense, you can afford a $300,000 house, easily, and I can lend you enough money to make it happen.
You: There's no way I can afford a $300,000 house; I'll never have enough money to pay back that loan!
Capitalist: That's a swell haircut you have there.
You: Thank you! Of course I can afford a $300,000 house! Yes I can! Yes we can!