Sunday, November 09, 2008
Friday, November 07, 2008
Professor Obama Kurgman PhD^3 here.
And I would like to speak with you about your call to national service, as detailed on your official site:
Thursday, November 06, 2008
Knowing a good idea when I see one, I went to City Hall today to officially change my name to Professor Obama Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD.
Elated, I even detoured by the Marine recruiting station on my way home. As usual, I paused to display my exposed posterior to them -- though today I was also able to joyously sing that we won!
What a glorious feeling! We won!
I then took the liberty to projectile defecate on the recruitment station's front window. Listen to me, you murdering animals! We won!
Need more proof? Look at how President Obama already has a web site with a "gov" domain. He's not falling for any "wait until January 20th" Pinochet-style Republican trickery!
Still, it will take a long, long, long time to undo the Bush damage -- and especially his legacy of racism.
But at least I no longer need to move to Zimbabwe, as I was planning in the event of a McCain win.
And speaking of, I next went to the police station to find out when they will be arresting Sarah Palin for her crimes against humanity. The "officer" in charge then oinked in my direction, "Are you lodging a complaint?"
"Well, you bet I am! Isn't it your job to arrest enemies of The People?"
He then handed a form to me to fill out. I started entering my personal information...Professor Obama Kurgman...hey, wait a minute! This is a trap to send me to Guantanamo!
Frightened of what might happen to me, I accidentally (honest!) lost control of my bowels, which were transformed into reservoirs of a most liquidy byproduct of organic curdled Soy-Moo. Horrified at the thought of Bush himself attempting to capture me, I hurried out of the enemy camp, and ran home to my rent-controlled apartment.
I proceeded to defend myself by composing an academic paper on mythopoetical dialectic contstructs.
We won, but we must continue to fight.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Our eight-year nightmare is over.
Never in history has there been a more cruel regime than what we have suffered through under the moron-sadist. No people have suffered more than we have. No one. Ever.
The Republican Holocaust is over, and we are the Holocaust Survivors.
Even now, it is nearly impossible to comprehend the enormity of the cruelty that has been inflicted on us: Torture, lies, and the complete destruction of our most basic human rights.
I say: Never again!
And so: Let The Revolution begin!
First: End the fascist propaganda machine! Remember: A government that is needed to do anything is a government that has the right to do everything.
Second: Allow our true friends to embrace change:
American elections "a historic intifada named Barack Obama"It will take many years to undo The Holocaust; we must begin at once.