Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Gas Prices: Too High or Not High Enough?

The short answer is "both". That is:


- Gas prices are too high because Big Oil is getting rich, and

- Gas prices are too low because people are still buying gas.

Lets look a little closer at this.

Reasons for high gas prices:

A) According to the estemed U.S. Senator Charles Schumer, gas prices do not follow the laws of supply and demand:

"The oil companies are just raising the prices up and up and up. The question is are they doing this based on the laws of supply and demand or is something else at work," Schumer told reporters over the din of city traffic at a press conference in front of a Manhattan gasoline service station."

B) Of course, there is "something else at work". For starters, how about Dick Cheney's Oil Wars? Blood for oil, and oil for money to line the pockets of Cheney and his fat-cat friends. Have you read Dreaming War by Gore Vidal? I haven't had the time to look at it, but I highly recommend it. The description is luscious:

"And just as Pearl Harbor got America into World War II, Cheney and Bush gleefully used 9/11 to begin a long war against enemies who just so happen to live amidst the oil reserves coveted by our executive branch (themselves former oil barons)."

C) According to U.S. Senator Richard Durbin, prices are high because oil companies are greedy:

“American consumers are paying the price for an energy policy that rewards the greed of oil and gas companies..."

But U.S. Senator Bob Menendez really got it right:

"It's crystal clear that the current spike in gas prices is at least partly due to an act of greed, greed that has been enabled, abetted — even encouraged, I would say — by this administration."

Recently, a student questioned this reason, noting that this implies that oil companies were not greedy in the past; his attack on progressive economics earned him an "F". Look, people, this is gouging and profiteering! Have you not considered that true progressives never make profits?

Anyway, look at the sharp wit of Senator Durbin! Forgive me for chuckling while so many suffer, but this man is outrageously funny with his word play:

“Oil companies are living in the fast lane and consumers are being left on the side of the road,” Durbin said. “How many more billions of dollars in outrageous profits will oil and gas companies continue to make before Congress finally steps in to protect consumers and businesses hit hard by the skyrocketing costs.”

Here's why gas prices ought to be even higher:

A) Filthy fat Amerikans are still driving! They have not switched to bicycling, walking, and other eco-friendly forms of transportation .

B) Gas prices are higher in Europe, and Europe is far more progressive than Amerika.

C) Low gas prices leave too much money in private hands. Given all the public needs, it is unacceptable for people to retain such private wealth.

The Solution:

- 1000% gas taxes; $30 per gallon is only fair.

- 100% taxation of all oil profits.

- A progressive and benevolent government takeover of the oil industry.

- One car maximum per household, with its purchase price subject to a 100% Federal environmental tax to supplement UAW retirement benefits.

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