Saturday, March 25, 2006

Musings on Other Cultures IX: Shantytowns

The New York Times recently showed its appreciation of other cultures by publishing an article advocating the construction of shantytowns in the United States. Shantytowns as a New Suburban Ideal

[Teddy Cruz's] ideas about Tijuana's hardscrabble settlements have generated a buzz. In a patchwork of plywood hovels, auto repair shops and hasty additions, Mr. Cruz has found a humane model for rethinking America's suburbs. He has been pushing that vision as an antidote to the gated communities that have sprouted from Southern California to Israel to mainland China in recent years.

American housing patterns are yet one more symptom of this depraved and racist culture. Being rich, spoiled, and fat, Americans (that is, white Americans) assume that it is their birthright to seal themselves off from the greater society.

Being rich, they stay away from the poor.

Being white, they stay away from the Color.

Being heterosexual, they stay away from the gay community.

Being handed everything, they stay away from those who must steal to pay for their children's survival.

Being cold and aloof, they stay away from the warmth of the humble street beggar.

Being insured, they stay away from people with open sores.

Being stingy, they stay away from those who demand slavery reparations.

The only solution is to democratize the people, and the best way of achieving that is by relocating suburban inhabitants to new diverse shantytowns where they can hear their neighbors, breathe the same air as their neighbors, smell their neighbors, and rub up against their neighbors.

Throughout the world, people live in densely-inhabited environments without the wasteful luxuries of capitalist excess, such as running water, electricity, and the products that the pharmaceutical industry has been raping us with. This inequality can only be addressed with relocations to shantytowns. We desperately need this Great Equalizer. And ideally, we will achieve true integration when entire families are integrated into the same apartments. Co-familial habitation is the solution to many problems, from elitist domination to energy conservation. Space is the imaginary province of the rich; they did nothing to deserve it, and it must therefore be returned to the people.

Yes, the fat stuffed-shirt corporate executive will wake up in the morning covered with the pus that oozed onto him from his syphilis-infected co-family's diseased orifices! That is democracy! Just try making money when you have to care for your tuberculosis!

Shantytowns: The vindication of the people against profits!


Anonymous said...

Congratulations on your bold stance in favor of shantytowns! I only have one reservation--is it possible that forcing people with diseases into close quarters could paradoxically build up natural resistance to those diseases, and thus delay the extinction of the human race?

Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD said...

Honestly, there are more worthy causes than human extinction. For example, there’s also human suffering. Is it right that some people should suffer while others do not?

Just as human extinction will reduce the burden on other species, an increase in human suffering would ensure other species that they are not alone; i.e., no one will suffer more than anyone else, and no member of any other species will suffer more than humans.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

I think a shantytown on Cape Cod or perhaps, the Hamptons, would be really nice. It would teach all those rich fatcats a lesson they would not soon forget. Maybe the town councils could be convinced to use eminent domain to seize the properties of said fatcats, demolish their estates, and make the building materials available to the downtrodden? It is just one thought, please tell me where I am wrong, oh wise one.

Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD said...

No, no, not Cape Cod or The Hamptons -- we, I mean, they do not deserve such fine treatment.

Instead, I would go for the north end of Dallas and the west end of Houston where the oil whores are. Or maybe Bel-Aire, where that monster Reagan lived.

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