Parking Squats

As much as I’m an advocate of Eminent Domain and lengthy legal battles (they’re cathartic!), I also respect activists who simply take back the streets.

Parking it in the Slope

On Saturday, a group of Livable Streets advocates staged a "parking squat" in Park Slope. Organizers showed up in front of the Connecticut Muffin shop on 7th Avenue and 1st Street at 9:00 am, dropped quarters in two parking meters, unfolded lawn chairs and proceeded to hang out, drink coffee, read the paper and chat with friends, neighbors and passersby in street space that would typically be occupied by two lifeless automobiles.

Face it, peeps, cars are the enemy; they intrude on the space of the people. The streets belong to us, not to those hideous machines of destruction. And so, we will block the private motorists with our (and our toddler’s) bodies – remembering that the realm of macro consciousness is what postmodern radicalism is all about!

A casual inspection of the resistance participants reveals that they do not drive, and in fact reject all materialistic affectations. (And look how they turn their backs on the fascist Starbucks across the street!) Yes, they shop local – but I can guarantee that everything they wear, eat, and otherwise purchase has been delivered to the merchants by foot.

Next step: National hikes to Wal-Marts to do Wal-Mart parking squats. Imagine thousands of progressives, joining hands and squatting in Wal-Mart parking lots. You know, all this squatting makes me want to urinate, but, of course, you should never (wink! wink!) urinate in a Wal-Mart parking lot.

In solidarity, there is resistance. And in resistance there is struggle. And in struggle, there is solidarity. And in struggle there is resistance.