Sunday, September 28, 2008

Zero-Payment Housing: A Right

Many people have been asking me, "Professor, I am not able to understand the present financial crisis. And though I am undoubtedly not bright enough to understand your explanation, I still need help. So, can you please explain it to me?"

This question is indeed burdensome, but I will reluctantly oblige.

In a nutshell, greedy capitalists are raping the working people and minorities. Again. And again. And over and over and over again. To the point where it is nearly surgically impossible to correct the damage.

Specifically, here is what happened:

Step #1: I, being a typical working person, am entitled to housing. But under our dictatorship of the dollar, I have to go to you, the blood-drinking Zionist banker, for a loan.

Step #2: In the old days, I would have had to put 20% down. So, for a $100K house, I would have had to make a $20K down payment, and the bank would lend me the remaining $80K. So, if the value of my house dropped to $90K and I stopped making payments (as is my right), the bank would seize my house, sell it for $90K, take its $80K, and return only $10K to me. That's not fair! By what right would the bank have to seize my house and not return all my money? Because I refused to make loan payments? Fuck you, bank!!

Step #3: Of course, requiring down payments is racist, so in 2004, HUD twisted the arm of Bush-Hitler to the point where it nearly broke off, and he announced the "Zero Down Payment Mortgage". That's getting much closer to a free mortgage! And it is what the working people deserve. Now I would borrow the entire $100K, and if I stopped making loan payments when the value of my house fell to $90K, the bank would seize it, and get only $90K of its $100K back! In other words, they will have lost money! Ha ha, fuck you, bank! And fuck you capitalist lenders! Fuck you, Zionist entity! For once, you're the suckers!

Step #4: As it happened, though, the bank loans were sold to the semi-governmental Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, regardless of the loan's terms. So the banks didn't much care about losing money; they had government customers ready to buy the loans. As the banks could make money, but were reasonably insured against losing money, they made lots of loans to people who deserved such loans. However, Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were now exposed to losing money. Well, fuck them too! Except for one thing...

Step #5: I AM ENTITLED TO LIVE IN MY HOUSE, WHETHER I PAID FOR IT OR NOT. In other words, someone had better pay the banks or Fannie Mae or Freddie Mac or someone somewhere with lots of money so that I won't have to.

And that "someone" is a government with a heart:

Barack Obama has also criticized McCain for sitting back and watching while so many American families face eviction. Yet his own proposals are more nuanced than Hillary's. They include setting up a $10 billion fund to help prevent foreclosures, cracking down on mortgage fraud, providing tax credits to low- and middle-income homeowners who don't currently itemize their interest payments, and standardizing the terms of mortgages so that potential borrowers can more easily figure out when they are being hoodwinked. Obama has also expressed support for Democratic Senator Chris Dodd's plan to expand the Federal Housing Administration's ability to refinance troubled loans.
And after the fat capitalist scum come up with the money, the people shall drag them into the streets and BEAT THEM WITHOUT MERCY. Socialism, first, last, and always.

In real life, of course, this is not true, as I obviously do not have a mortgage on my rent-controlled apartment.

Someday, we shall all be living under such control. Control is wealth. And wealth is community. And community is the world of my brothers and sisters.

I assume that this explanation was far beyond the grasp of most readers.


chimpeachnow said...

I think I get it Professor, when the banks don't give loans to poor workers they are discriminatory. When they do give loans to poor workers they are predatory.

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