Presidential Debate III

I was very proud of Barack Obama at last night's debate; he has been listening to me!

I played back this debate fourteen times already (with the McCain parts erased), and although I would like to post the entire transcript here, fourteen times over, I will only select the best of Barack:

And the financial rescue plan that Senator McCain and I supported is an important first step. And I pushed for some core principles: making sure that taxpayer can get their money back if they're putting money up.

Of course everyone will get their money back. That’s why they must contribute, whether or not they think it’s a good idea. If this was a bad idea, we would not make the taxpayers contribute.

Making sure that CEOs are not enriching themselves through this process.

Again, correct. When CEOs become rich, everyone else gets a smaller piece of the pie.

I want to end the tax breaks for companies that are shipping jobs overseas and provide a tax credit for every company that's creating a job right here in America.

This is only fair. Taxpayers need to pay more in order to ensure that Americans spend less time working in industries like aeronautics and pharmaceuticals -- and instead recover the jobs that are done abroad, like sewing buttons on clothing.

That's why we included in the financial package a proposal to get homeowners in a position where they can renegotiate their mortgages.

Trivial. Simply force people who are making mortgage payments to also make payments for those who are not making mortgage payments. They shall be sent two bills: One for their own homes, and one for the homes of those who cannot pay.

And 95 percent of working families, 95 percent of you out there, will get a tax cut.

And when we teach the remaining 5% what it is like to really pay taxes, it will have no effect whatsoever on prices that the remaining 95% pay.

And that requires us to make some important choices…

I weep with joy at lines like this. To see the best, the brightest, and the most concerned make important choices for the people!

Then Exxon Mobil, which made $12 billion, record profits, over the last several quarters, they can afford to pay a little more so that ordinary families who are hurting out there -- they're trying to figure out how they're going to afford food, how they're going to save for their kids' college education, they need a break.

That’s right, you selfish bastards at Exxon Mobil. How about ponying up a little more, like maybe a dime a week, to provide the starving people, the near-corpses lying in the gutter, the most basic sustenance so that you can whip some more work out of them.

But there is no doubt that we've been living beyond our means and we're going to have to make some adjustments.

Oh yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES!! Wayyyy beyond our means! Notwithstanding the Exxon Mobil inflicted famine referenced above, the rest of us are driving cars (we need more buses, peeps!), eating too much fast food (nationalized food co-ops, my dream…), and using too much energy (you don’t have to actually cook potatoes, you know).

…if we're going to focus on lifting wages that have declined over the last eight years and create jobs here in America, then Democrats, independents and Republicans, we're going to have to be able to work together.

I believe that universal conscription into an anti-capitalist youth corps will create plenty of jobs when they burn the banks, put wrecking balls to Walmart, and trash rich people’s homes. Full employment will be achieved to fix everything so that we can destroy it again.

Bill Ayers is a professor of education in Chicago.

A professor and a friend of mine, I might add. Those qualifications should negate anything else about him, however fabricated.

ACORN is a community organization…

The evidence is in, not guilty!

…it is absolutely critical that we develop a high fuel efficient car that's built not in Japan and not in South Korea, but built here in the United States of America.

As aggressors against the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, I fully agree that Japan and South “Korea” should be punished, severely. And to accomplish this, we should draft Americans from whatever other jobs they’re working on – and put them to work (with rich people’s tax dollars) to build a non-polluting car in GM and Ford factories. No matter how much GM, Ford, and the AWU object to receiving tax dollars, this is an important move that must be done.

And when it comes to South Korea, we've got a trade agreement up right now, they are sending hundreds of thousands of South Korean cars into the United States. That's all good. We can only get 4,000 to 5,000 into South Korea. That is not free trade.

Thank you, Barack, for pointing that out. And don’t forget: Italy sends us hundreds of thousands of gallons of olive oil, but we can’t get any of our olive oil into Italy. That is not fair trade, either.

If you want to do the right thing with your employees and you want to provide them health insurance, we'll give you a 50 percent credit so that you will actually be able to afford it.

That’s half way to a 100% tax credit, which is on the path to a 100% government subsidy. Fact: When one group of taxpayers gives money to a second group taxpayers, then the second group can afford things (like healthcare) easier, and there is no effect on the first group – like the employees who paid the taxes to begin with. If you cannot understand that, then you truly are hopelessly uneducable.

All I want to do, if you've already got health care, is lower your costs.

Fact: Costs can always be lowered when a leader wills them to be lower.

And finally, this question:

The question is this: the U.S. spends more per capita than any other country on education. Yet, by every international measurement, in math and science competence, from kindergarten through the 12th grade, we trail most of the countries of the world. The implications of this are clearly obvious. Some even say it poses a threat to our national security. Do you feel that way and what do you intend to do about it?

And Barack’s answer:

…we are going to have to invest…

An investment! Clearly, spending more than any other country is not enough, and only an investment can remedy this.

…recruit a generation of new teachers…

More teachers! Quantity always equals quality, so more is more.

… an army of new teachers…

Armies of teachers! I hope the AFT does not object.

…give them higher pay…

Highest costs per capita in the world…pay them more! Wait…I’m in academia, so I need more, too! Pay me more! I am entitled to more!

… and I think it's important for us to make college affordable….

So true! So true! And here it comes…

And that's why I've proposed a $4,000 tuition credit, every student, every year, in exchange for some form of community service, whether it's military service, whether it's Peace Corps, whether it's working in a community.

Gaaaaaa!! Tuition credits! Community service! Conscription for the common good! I played that part back well over one hundred times. If the leader wills it, it shall be free!!!! Please, Barack! Let’s give every student $100,000 per semester to attend college! That will really drive tuition down.

.. If we do those things, then I believe that we can create a better school system.

And then we can do the same thing to everything else, from food to clothing to manufacturing to the arts to research to literature to the entire realm of anything and everything that anyone does anywhere, anytime, and anyplace.

I turn all decisions to you, my new leader -- for if you will it, it will happen.

God DAMN Amerikkka!