Will I be in Michael Moore’s Next Movie?

Mr. Moore’s next movie, Sicko, will expose the health-care capitalists for what they are, and result in a major upheaval of the entire industry. To that end, Mr. Moore is now recruiting people to appear in his movie. These people will tell of their suffering at the hands of the medical fascists, with their stories illustrating what everyone already knows about our corrupt medical system. To determine who should appear in the film, Mr. Moore has invited the public to share their worst medical stories:

Send me a short, factual account of what has happened to you – and what IS happening to you right now if you have been unable to get the health care you need. Send it to michael@michaelmoore.com. I will read every single one of them (even if I can't respond to or help everyone, I will be able to bring to light a few of your stories).

Thank you, all of you, for your help and your continued support through the years. I promise you that with "Sicko" we will do our best to give you not only a great movie, but a chance to bring down this evil empire, once and for all.

And yes, I have medical war stories so compelling that Mr. Moore will certainly select me to appear, if not star, in Sicko.

I have sent a message to him, which I am reproducing below. When he responds, I will publish that, too.

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Hello Mr. Moore:

My name is Professor Peter Alan Kurgman, and I hold three PhDs. I am also a tremendous fan of yours, having read all of your books and have seen all of your movies at least two times.

As you are a humble human being, I will not embarrass you with an excess of flattery, but I do feel compelled to tell you that as progressive force, you have no equal. Your vision, your honesty, your morality, and your caring spirit have already brought immense benefits to people everywhere. Although your many accomplishments are far too numerous to list, their impact has improved the lives of all. I tremble with utter fright at the thought of what our world would be without you.

And that is why I am so excited that your upcoming film, Sicko, will illustrate the horrors of our cruel so-called “health care” system. Just as Roger & Me brought justice to the American workplace, and just as Bush will be impeached because of Fahrenheit 911, I am convinced that Sicko will bring immeasurable improvements in people’s health. No doubt, the pre-release promotions alone will increase our life expectancies by six months.

Furthermore, as a professor and a scientist, I am gratified to see that your methodology for examining the health-care crisis is fair and unbiased. That is, since we already know the answer, it is just to ask everyone, regardless of their race, for their worst horror stories to support our claims.

And now, may I take you up on your invitation to share my health-care horror stories? I have some that will make you absolutely sick! (But don’t look for any cures in this corrupt country!)

A few years ago, I attended classes at The Yoga Institute of Marin County. After three months, however, they sent me an invoice. “Surely,” I chuckled, “This is an error. After all, yoga is a vital component of my health care, and should therefore be free.” I recycled the invoice, and two weeks later, I received another invoice. Enraged, I called them up and demanded to know why they were extorting money from me. I reasoned, I pleaded, and I wailed. I did not beg for myself, but instead it was for all the other yoga students who might have to pay for their services. How dare anyone charge them? This case is still in litigation.

And as if that is not shocking enough, here's another story:

At my last medical checkup, I had to wait in excess of three minutes to see my doctor. And then, she demanded a co-payment! Yes, yes, I know that I am among the lucky 5% of Americans that have health insurance – but what good is it if I have to pay anything at all? Let alone a $10 co-payment that goes straight to Bush’s genocide machine! I was livid, and called my attorney right then and there.

Meanwhile, I saw a family of poor Mexicans in the waiting room, with a small child who apparently had a life-threatening infection. How I was embarrassed that they left their warm Sun Country for abuse at the hands of American Nazi doctors! “Please,” I begged them, “Take your child elsewhere. You probably have no insurance at all, and the doctor will charge you for antibiotics!” As it happened, another patient told me that they had Medicaid benefits, so I then urged the family to boycott American doctors until we all have Medicaid to pay our bills. They did not understand English (and why should they need to?) so I called some grad students to hurry over for a last-minute sit-in to block the doctor’s office to everyone. This case is also in litigation. The child regrettably passed away, but every war has its heroes. You and I, Mr. Moore, are those heroes.

Can I be in your movie?

Yours,

Professor Peter Alan Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD