Tuesday, April 04, 2006

Immigration Myths and Facts

Although it is axiomatic that immigration, and especially Latino immigration, is beneficial, I am distressed to see that most immigration advocates are using incorrect arguments to support their case. These are the immigration myths. The correct reasons for supporting immigration are the immigration facts. First, I will list the myths, and then I will list the facts.


1) Immigrants leave squalid countries to lead a better life in the United States. WRONG! If the immigrants weren't fed imperialist propaganda, they would realize that they are abandoning superior cultures for the depravity of Amerika. This self-defilement is a reason for them to stay home for their own good.

2) Immigrants mow lawns, pick fruit, and work in kitchens. WRONG! Immigrants enter into involuntary servitude at the behest of white moneybags fascists. And why does anyone need a lawn anyway? In a moral society, we would all live in communal apartments. And don't forget -- every job taken by an immigrant puts a union member out in the street to starve.

3) We're all descendants of immigrants. WRONG! Even if you ignore the millions who were dragged to the Amerikan Holocaust in chains, and even if you ignore the Native Peoples (who, as the Palestinians of Amerika, are the only legitimate owners of its land), even then, the rest of us were cursed to have ancestors who came here. I did not ask my ancestors to live in Amerika, and am enraged that they migrated here. Aside from polluting this beautiful land with white Europeans, our ancestors have condemned us to a death sentence under Cheney and his Hitler-puppet Bush.


1) The beautiful tongue of Spanish will replace the filthy linguistic legacy of the illegitimate English conquerors.

2) The rich culture of Latino communism will have an opportunity to flourish throughout the entirety of The Americas.

3) Related to (2), our labor movement will receive an infusion of young idealistic militants who will work to smash the racist profiteering ruling-class scum.

4) Our affirmative-action programs will be so happily busy, redistributing the white people's "opportunities" to the deserving Hispanic community.

5) Our society will become more democratic as the white, the pampered, and the rich will be exposed to:

  • People urinating on their lawns,
  • Drunkards picking fights with them,
  • Their spoiled daughters being harassed, molested, and raped,
  • Their children being exposed to a new educational culture, such as being regularly beaten in school,
  • Immigrants taking their unearned cars, cash, jewelry, and anything else not permanently affixed to the floor
  • Cockroaches, rats, odors of rotting meat and stale alcohol, loud brawls, prostitutes, deafening Latino music, domestic violence, increased police budgets (and higher taxes!), and so much more to equalize and democratize.

In order to fully change our society (a revolution!), we will need immigrants coming over by the millions. As they are now! The unstoppable flood from the south will bring us to victory! Welcome, Latinos!

Now, if we could only do likewise with Islamic immigration...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I can't figure out if you're being serious or sarcastic, sincere or ironic. Regardless, I'm interested, curious, and a little disturbed!

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