Saturday, April 15, 2006

It's April 15th and I Feel Great!

Once again, we are at that time of year that separates societal excellence from dog-eat-dog capitalist barbarism. Specifically, I am referring to taxes -- the great equalizer and the great source of justice. As always, I am proud to be paying my taxes -- and I only wish they were higher.

Now, the bullying right-wing hypocrites might impertinently ask, "Professor Kurgman, if you enjoy paying taxes so much, then why don't you pay more than what the IRS suggests?"

To which I respond, "You are a racist and homophobic bigot, and this will be reflected in your final grade."

But fortunately, I was not faced with such attacks this year, and delighted in paying my share of taxes. And I also did my civic duty of reporting suspected underpaying students, coworkers, relatives, and friends to the IRS.

Now, as it happens, my many conventions, retreats, and consultations ate into a large part of my income. To say nothing of charitable expenses, energy credits, the office in my second home, and the value of my time that was contributed to organizations like The American Civil Liberties Union, The Center for Corporate Policy, The Communist Party USA, The Vegan Society, The Coalition of Labor Union Women, The Transgender Law & Policy Institute, The Rachel Corrie Rebuilding Campaign in Gaza, The Democatic People's Republic of Korea, and The Voluntary Human Extinction Movement.

So, following the rules, I will be getting a large refund. Combined with farm subsidies for various produce that I do not grow (and some extra subsidies from the Department of Agriculture’s Conservation Security Program for my green farming of a few tomato plants that I self-fertilize), I will be revenue-positive for tax year 2005.

If only Bush and his filthy cabal of neoconservative rapists were as responsible with their budget as I am with mine!

I hate Amerika.

1 comment:

Eric Cartman said...

Wow, you are so cool. I want to be just like you when I grow up.

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