Friday, May 12, 2006

Letter to President Ahmadinejad

Needless to say, President Ahmadinejad’s letter to that filth Bush is required reading not only among my students, but among the entire student body, faculty, administrative staff, and janitorial people at my university.

Also needless to say, my students prepared some genuinely thoughtful and touching responses to President Ahmadinejad. The best of the best was written by my favorite Ph.D. candidate Kathy, as displayed below.


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dear pres. ahmadinejad:

hi…i’m a phd candidate and i, like, so totally agree with your letter? fuck bush! i mean, your people elected you as their president, right? and i’ll bet you don’t tap their phone conversations, either.

i mean, i’m like so ashamed of being an american? i mean, like, where do we get off threatening you? and my professor says that middle east balance of power is just, you know, so tilted to israel because they have nukes and just bully everyone else. so, i just so totally understand why your people need protection. and we are just so with you! i mean, like, none of my friends like israel either. i don’t even have any jewish friends, though one of my friends has a jewish boyfriend, ok, and he is just so uncool? like, embarrassment much? duh!!

do you come to america often? because we, like, just had these awesome immigrant protests, ok? i mean, you look like a latino, so i’ll bet that you feel solidarity with our brothers (and sisters, yeah!) to the south of us. or, are they from the west? i, like, so can’t get my head into that compass thing sometimes! i mean, honestly, i don’t know, you know, where your country, like, is? i mean, maps are such a guy thing? i mean, like, my boyfriend knows how to drive to the campus without asking for directions, and i like, totally respect that? but i’ll, like, ask anyone and everyone 4 directions every time and we’ll just end up having really long conversations? i’m like, a really really really good talker? you should see my cell phone bills. cool!

anyway, like, whatever!

fuck bush!

my best to you and all the other iraqi people.

in solidarity,

kathy

4 comments:

shlemazl said...

A+! Great letter

Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD said...

I agree, and in fact encouraged her to use it as an introduction to her dissertaion.

A.C #1 said...

Um, Professor- are you okay? Are you on sabbatical? I need my daily guidance, I feel Bush might be subverting my correct thinking....

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO.

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