Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Conflict in The Middle East: A History

Consider this a free university-level history class.

From the beginning of time, there was a place called “Palestine” which was inhabited exclusively by the biggest gift to humankind: Palestinians. Their culture flourished, their peaceful people prospered, and their model nation was to become the jewel of the world. Their language was Arabic, their religion was Muslim (pronounced “MOOZ-lem”), but regrettably, all evidence of their governments, their currency, their laws, and so forth were destroyed. By whom? Keep reading.


In the 1940s, Nazi Germany was determined conquer the world. They had a two-pronged strategy:

  1. Exterminate gay men
  2. Defeat World Socialism

Led by Hitler, and funded entirely by Prescott Bush, the Nazis mercilessly committed atrocities such as having no concern for global warming and remaining silent on the issue of American slavery reparations. Fortunately, The Soviet People’s Armies defeated the fascists – even though they failed to liberate Western Europe in the process.

As a consequence of the European War, the Jews, as capitalist fascists, needed a place to regroup. And so, they attacked the most vulnerable people in the world: The peaceful Palestinians. Without warning, the Jewish invasion of Palestine commenced. Immediately, neighboring Arab countries tried to defend themselves against this invasion, but their pacifist ways led to a quick defeat at the hands of the violent and blood-thirsty Jews – who also exterminated most of the Palestinians.

And yet, the surrounding Palestinian/Muslim population remained at peace. Frequently, the cry “Peace be upon you, Jew!” was heard from the antiwar sanctuaries called “mosques”. Meanwhile, the Jews named their entity “Israel”, and named their imperialistic goal of Middle East (and world) domination “Zionism”.

Over the years, Zionist aggression has taken many forms. Certainly, the 1967 and 1973 wars of conquest were a major component of their strategy. But, more recently, they have been sending Jewish teenagers into the Muslim lands to detonate themselves as suicide bombers. (If you are unfamiliar with this, may I remind you that the Jews also successfully concealed the history of the Nation of Palestine.)

The Israeli parliament (called “Arabfrei” in German) has made the destruction of Arab Nations their only goal. Never mind that Arab countries were repeatedly offering land to Israel to make peace. (Remember, Arabs are Sun People, and peace is the essence of their nature.) When Egypt offered the Sinai Peninsula to Israel in 1967, for instance, the Zionist response was “Death to Arabs! Death to Muslims!” And the bombings continued, as Jews murdered Arabs on buses in Cairo, in clubs in Damascus, and in mosques in Mecca.

Then came “9/11” and everything changed. The Israeli secret service flew hijacked airplanes into the World Trade Center, The Pentagon, and a mosque constructed in a Pennsylvania corn field. (Assuming, of course, that the events of “9/11” happened at all.) The Amerikkkan president, George W. Bush, grandson of Nazi Prescott Bush, immediately exploited “9/11” to ally with the Zionist capitalist fascists in an all-out war against Islam, The Arabs, People of Color everywhere, and the Transgendered Community.

The Holocaust began in Iraq, where Bush began to conveyor-belt our children into the Middle East Death Machine. Army Rangers, Marines, and all the other military branches comprised of our helpless little babies, were sent into the grim muddled morass of the Middle Eastern quagmire. Without a plan, without hope, and without a shred of decency, the monsters of the military went to work in the new Abu Ghraib extermination camp, though they paused when a single brave woman, Mother Cindy Sheehan, demanded that our children be returned to our bosoms.

But the slaughter continued. The Amerikkkan drive for oil and the Zionist instinct for violent racial oppression worked in tandem to methodically annihilate our Islamic brothers and sisters. The Zionist rockets, thousands of them, were raining on what was left of Palestine and Lebanon -- until one day, a plea was heard from Lebanon. “Please, let us live in peace.” This cry was echoed in the highest levels of government in the beleaguered Syria and Iran. “Please, can’t we all just get along?”

Enraged, the Zionist war machine arose, and swore to obliterate any remnant of the Muslim world. The bloated Zionist pigs openly stated that their goal was world domination, and would not stop until their racist “Star of David” flew on top of every capital from Casablanca to Jakarta. Then they mercilessly attacked the Nations of Palestine and Lebanon, explicitly singling out civilians for death, torture, and the cruelest medical experiments. Worse than Hitler, indeed; this Jewish apple didn’t fall far from the Nazi tree.

The future is very grim. Amerikkka’s complicity removed the stabilizing influence of Saddam Hussein and his benevolent heirs. The cries of anguish from the European capitals are being ignored. The progressive demonstrations are not being effective.

But we can hope. We can hope for a return to a protective anti-Zionist umbrella of a reinvigorated Soviet Union under the leadership of President Putin. We can hope that the Iranian people will defend themselves from the Zionist nuclear threat. We can hope that the growing Islamic populations of Europe will be translated into political and military control. We can hope that assistance from a “white knight” such as Kim Jong-Il will be forthcoming.

And we can hope for the quick destruction of the fascist, capitalist, racist, homophobic, and sexist Amerikkka, the world’s second-biggest threat.

The world’s biggest threat is Zionism.


N. said...

I'm hoping this is really good satire. Otherwise, you're insane.

Anonymous said...

For a man with who SUPPOSEDLY has so much education you are a pretty unenlightened person. Not only that your ego is the size of Palestine.

Of course the shit you are spewing is false. I am neither Muslim nor Jew but even I can see you’re a fanatical Arab.

Sad to see your "education" has left you bereft of knowledge.

If I had to pick a side based on what you wrote here I would choose Israel. YOUR NUTS!!! Either that or you are SERIOUSLY DELUDED

Mark said...

Don't worry, Ahmadinejad with the help of 'Lil Kim Jong Il, will save the world.

Bacon Eating Atheist Jew said...

Hilarious stuff. I need to blogroll you.

Gavriel said...

I agree. This is fabulous garbage. I've never laughed so hard at such vile spew. Congratulations.

Anonymous said...

Some of the funniest damned stuff I've read in awhile. And, indeed, it *is* university level stuff. Oh, the insight!

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