Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Tribute to Zimbabwe: Nation of Millionaires!

I will be using this space to occasionally post tributes to the world's most forward-looking, humane, and progressive countries as models for what Amerika could be if only, if only, if only....

We start today with Zimbabwe.

In the late 19th Century, the racist Cecil Rhodes "colonized" a Sun Paradise in southern Africa. And the word "colonized" is in quotes because that is just a sanitized euphamism for the wanton raping of the land, the pillaging of the people, and the banning of Kwanzaa celebrations. In 1965, the white racists declared complete independence and imposed the artificial name "Rhodesia", but The People smashed the power in 1980 -- restoring the nation to a more idyllic paradise than ever, thanks to their father, President Robert Mugabe, who to this day guides Zimbambe. And The People would have it no other way!

President Mugabe's accomplishments include:

- Ordering white farmers to leave thier stolen land -- and then returning their so-called "property" to The People.

- Winning elections -- and defending The People by making it a crime to criticize their democratically-elected leader, and stopping journalists from writing articles that do not meet the needs of The People.

- Designing innovative urban planning techniques. His Operation Restore Order has demolished substandard dwellings (no one should live in inferior housing), recovered People's Property in the process, and arrested thousands of People's Enemies in the process.

- Making everyone a millionaire!

Despite the hyperinflation, mass unemployment and crippling shortages of fuel and foreign currency, Zimbabwe is a country of millionaires. Shoppers have to carry huge wads of cash to buy the basic foodstuffs available in most shops.

“Last week I filled a single trolley with $30 million of groceries, and I had to count out 600 notes of $20,000 at the checkout counter,” John Robertson, an economist, said.

President Mugabe knows that Bush and Blair are terrorists, and his friends include Hugo Chavez and the City Council of New York.

Zimbabwe has been a "showcase nation" for the last quarter-century because of this one great, wise, and humble man. Thank you, President Mugabe, for making our planet a better place.


shlemazl said...

Is Canada on your list?

douglass said...

ok Kurgman, I'm going to catch you at the flagpole and take your food co-op bushel for good every Tuesday until you retract this Mugabe nonsense.

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