Friday, August 11, 2006

Exploiting "Terrorism"

Bush's racist remarks about "Islamic fascists" are the most sickening, cruel, abusive, and hurtful lies that were ever said by anyone, anywhere, in all of history.

As pointed out in my favorite blog:

...Bush is exploiting the events to serve his own agenda...The clash of civilisations is illusory, it is a chimera devised by the Bush administration to justify going beyond his failed attempts to find the sponsors of 9/11...


It's all too obvious: Republicans are exploiting the situation for their personal gain. Ideally, this would mandate prison sentences -- but we are not at that stage yet.

We all too often experience exploitative abuse in our daily lives. In fact, just yesterday, in a spasm of hunger brought on by my unpredictable digestive processes, I went to the food co-op to purchase some vegan egg yolks made of tofu and bacteria. (In another article, I must address the morality of eating bacteria.)

When the cashier charged me for the yolks, the realization dawned on me. I erupted, "YOU ARE EXPLOITING MY HUNGER BY PUTTING A PRICE ON FOOD! JUST LIKE BUSH AND HIS GENOCIDE AGAINST MUSLIMS, YOU ARE EXPLOITING MY MISFORTUNE! HOW DARE YOU! I DEMAND THAT EVERYTHING IN THIS STORE BE GIVEN AWAY FOR FREE!"

The manager came over, but my defenses were up: "YOU'RE NOT HERE TO HELP ME -- YOU'RE HERE TO EXPLOIT ME FOR YOUR PERSONAL GAIN! LIKE THE WAY BUSH IS EXPLOITING SO-CALLED “TERROR” FOR HIS PERSONAL GAIN. AND YOU'RE PROBABLY ACCEPTING A SALARY TOO, YOU FILTHY MURDERING TOOL OF THE ZIONIST WAR MACHINE!"

I screamed at the other customers: "THIS STORE IS HERE ONLY TO EXPLOIT YOU! PEEPS! PEEPS! PEEPS! LISTEN PEEPS...RISE UP AND SMASH THE EXPLOITATIVE ENEMY! THEY ARE BUSH, YOU ARE LAMONT! THEY ARE ZIONISTS, YOU ARE HEZBOLLAH!"

I detected murmurs of agreement, and at that moment, I devoured the vegan yolks. After all, isn't "property" just a propaganda technique of the ruling class?

I then spun around, and spat a mouth full of vegan yolks back onto the display. The manager said something about "repackaging it as vegan egg salad at a markup", but by then, I needed to return to my apartment to look after my delicate digestive constitution. With my beard congealing in a mixture of yolks and saliva, I left the den of exploitation with pride. And on the bus, the other faces, fixated on mine, acknowledged that I was truly of the people.

***

I will be away for a few busy days, joining a protest demanding the return of Amerikkka to the Native Hispanics, advocating legislation to mandate gay role-playing for all public-school children, and organizing a charity fundraiser for the House of Saud. We will continue some time next week.

3 comments:

Lexcen said...

Terrorism is the fantasy of the right wing Bush/homophobic/capitalist-pig/moonbat frenzy orgy against peace loving Muslims. Go Prof. go forth and multiply.

Don said...

Prof, are you taking your Lithium these days?

And why are you always either screaming at or expelling bodily juices on the staff of your food coop? Surely it would be more ideologically consistent (as well as more satisfying) to blow chunks on a capitalist swine of a Mercedes Benz salesman?

Don said...

No answer. Poor Professor Krugman.

He's probably off taking a 'rest' for a little bit after his latest eruption at (or is that on?) the checkout clerk st the coop.

Better them than on a student I guess.

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