Tuesday, August 22, 2006

A Letter from a Muslim

I am an ex-Muslim who lives in fear of violence from radicals who wish to kill me for the "crime" of apostasy. And that is why I fail to understand your incessant support for Islam; they violate every principle that you "liberals" stand for with their intolerance of free speech, their death sentences to gays and adulterers, their abuse of women, their cruel punishments inflicted on those who violate their religious laws, and their goal of supremacy over all others. Can't you understand that they are not your allies?

- Ex Muslim

Dear Ex:

Our Constitution guarantees freedom of religion and freedom of speech, and that is why Islam must be respected; I have no right to criticize it. But I do have the right, and the obligation, to condemn the Islamophobes in our midst -- such as the obscene Christian theocracy in Amerikkka, led by murderer-in-chief Bush and his army of barbarians who attack our freedoms, threaten our lives, kill our children, and toss bombs in abortion clinics on a daily basis. In fact, this is precisely why we need Islam; to counteract the malignant presence of the extreme right-wing Christianists.

But we also need Islam because we can never stop learning from the customs of superior cultures. We live in a cold and cruel "Ice" society, and Islam is a product of a warm and benevolent "Sun" society. Just look at the skin coloration of most Muslims; the wondrous hues of brown and olive positively define a caring and nurturing people from whom we can be spiritually nourished.

My friend, you must return to your roots and celebrate the religion that you were born into; you are a product of an immutable force of nature that cannot be defied. Your people have injected a beautiful spectrum of multiculturalism into our depraved Western world, and you, my friend, are a permanent component of that spectrum. It is your duty to teach us, and it is the duty of the progressive community to protect you from the onslaught of our mutual enemies: Christians, Republicans, capitalists, Zionists, etc., etc., etc.

Be strong, and do not turn your back on your culture. It is what you are, and it is therefore impossible to shed it. Return to your community, your people, and your mosque -- and we will continue to embrace, and protect, your people.

Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD


Lexcen said...

may I suggest Prof. you spend less time staring at the sun, and stop trying to turn yourself into a superior SUN person.

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