Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Cuban Technology: Ahead of America

This should dispell the lies that Cuba is not at the forefront of technology.

Ignore those propaganda pictures of Cubans riding in donkey carts; Cuba, as it happens, is loaded with televisions.

And they have free health care!

No More Danishes for Me

In solidarity with the Islamic people who are understandably offended by the blasphemous cartoons appearing in Denmark, I will be foregoing my morning danish until their grievance has been resolved.

Lately, my dietary patterns have been seriously disrupted by the world's inequities, as my ethical values have already forced me to boycott Starbucks, Coke, Canadian seafood, anything made by Heinz or Gorton's -- or consisting of genetically modified food, meat, eggs, shrimp, and of course anything purchased in Wal-Mart or imported from Israel.

Too Disturbing for TV

According to an article prepared by Agence Fran├žaise de Presse...

(I have to pause for a moment because I so enjoy the musical quality of that name, "Agence Fran├žaise de Presse")

"...a recent video of kidnapped U.S. reporter Jill Carroll is 'too disturbing' for American television stations to broadcast."

I say, good for the broadcasters. Not only is the video too disturbing, but it can lead to unwarranted prejudices. (Similarly, the reluctance to broadcast footage of the 9/11 "tragedy" has only improved intercultural relations.)

Unlike the barbaric atrocities of Abu Ghraib that The New York Times selflessly displayed on its front page for 32 consecutive days, this nuanced kidnapping must be understood in a different light:

- The hostage, Ms. Carroll, raises a legitimate point in the video, that Iraqi prisoners should be released.

- The kidnapping is unrelated to Islam. Here's proof, from the article itself: "Iraq's Committee of Muslim Scholars, the top Sunni religious organization, also called for her release."

- Ms. Carroll is "tearful" and "weeping" in the video. A public airing of this would only contribute to anti-female stereotypes. In fact, why must this irrelevant detail even be mentioned?

- Are we any better than the kidnappers? After all, the United States is presently holding four Iraqi women prisoner!

Needless to say, none of this would even be an issue if we only pulled out of Iraq immediately, gave up all our weapons, and promised to never lift a finger of hegemonist aggression against anyone ever again.

"If you strike me, I will not strike back." History has proven that there is no more effective way of avoiding disputes.

Quote of The Day

"A single dollar spent on anything but the absolute essentials of our survival is a dollar that has some starving child’s blood on it."

- Peter Unger (Philosopher)

And the richer you are, the more it makes you a child murderer.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Musings on Other Cultures III: Female Circumcision

Yes, this is a tricky one -- but fortunately, I can explain it.

Let's examine the negatives:

- Horrible pain inflicted on children
- A lifelong absence of sexual pleasure
- Life-threatening infections
- Subjugation of women

And now, the positives:

- A celebration of cultural expression

The verdict:

To someone in a Third-World culture, the Western world can seem barbaric. In short, we are in no position to judge any other cultural practice. Relatively speaking, all cultures are equal, except for those that promote the inhuman hell of capitalism. Therefore, we must accept, and also celebrate, these practices. Our world is a beautiful mosaic of vibrant cultures (with the exception noted above), of which female circumcision is a critical part.

Bush's Sick 9/11 Obsession

The Huffington Post is one of my favorite sources of fresh and incisive analysis of current events. True, many of the contributors lack multiple academic degrees, but I still find their perspectives instructive.

In particular, Roy Sekoff (one of their founders) penned a hilarious piece that also brings forth a surge of sadness -- and anger! Specifically, the folks (a term used to refer to non-academics) at the HP (that's an abbreviation for "Huffington Post") keep track of how long it takes so-called President Bush to say "9/11" in each of his pathetic speeches.

They call the game "Beat the Clock"! You have to admit...they're as funny as hell, that "HP" gang! (Again, "HP" is an abbreviation for "Huffington Post".)

But the sad fact is that this unelected so-called "President" continuously uses 9/11 for his political gain. I ask: What right does he have to refer to 9/11? This is a sacred subject that ought to be off-limits to him, period.

(And this is especially ironic because Bush is the world's biggest terrorist anyway. At least the so-called "hijackers" were defending their religion. And, we're still not sure if the entire incident was a Zionist plot to defame other people's religion.)

Meanwhile, I'm going to set my timer!

Just thought you would like a chuckle.

P.S. Mr. Bin Laden? I didn't vote for Bush!

Hillary: Bush Deliberately Abandoned New Orleans

Hillary turns out more original insights in one week than a normal person can in a year. Fresh from her realization that the U.S. Congress is run like a plantation, Hillary has now determined that (so-called) President Bush has deliberately abandoned New Orleans because...

"...if you rebuild New Orleans, all those Democrats might come home."

A hurricane hits, a city is destroyed, and the population -- comprised of many Democrats -- scatter. Could these events be a coincidence? Impossible. This is most definitely a planned and deliberate Republican act of further suppressing the Democratic vote.

Unfortunately, though, Hillary does not follow through. In order to ensure that these people do not vote for Democrats ever again, Bush must have devised a way of preventing them from voting in their new hometowns.

The evidence is that Bush used the Patriot Act to exterminate these people.

Conclusion: Bush is a murdering genocidal Christian fanatic.

Hillary...please remember that phrase while you campaign to defeat this monster in 2008.

Sunday, January 29, 2006

Cindy & Hugo: Perfect Together!

I cried with joy when I learned that Venezuela's President Chavez and Peace Mom Cindy Sheehan joined to attack President George W. Bush and the Iraq War at the close of the World Social Forum.

The quotes are wondrous!

"Enough of imperialist aggression. We must tell the world, down with the U.S. empire," Chavez said hugging Sheehan, whose son died in the Iraq war.

"We have to bury imperialism this century. Cindy, we are with you in your fight," he said on his regular Sunday television broadcast.

"The war in Iraq will end, our troops will come home, Bush will be impeached and he will be brought to justice," said Sheehan, who held a vigil outside Bush's Texas ranch.

Truly, I am at a loss for words.

So instead, let's review some legendary Hugo and Cindy quotes that have earned them so much respect.


"Minorities, descendants of those who crucified Christ... have grabbed all the wealth of the world for themselves."

"Capitalism leads us straight to hell."

"Socialism builds and capitalism destroys."


[An excellent source of Cindy's wisdom and compassion is at The People's Cube, from where the first three excerpts were taken.]

"America has been killing people on this continent since it was started. This country is not worth dying for."

"You get America out of Iraq, you get Israel out of Palestine."

"We are waging a nuclear war in Iraq right now. That country is contaminated. It will be contaminated for practically eternity now."

"We are not waging a war on terror in this country. We're waging a war of terror. The biggest terrorist in the world is George W. Bush."

"By his own definition, he is a terrorist."

That last two quoted give me such an adrenaline boost. Yes, George W. Bush is the world's biggest terrorist! His fascist armies rape and murder civilians, his air force wantonly drops bombs on unsuspecting nations, and his insane right-wing Christianity is being forced down the throats of the world's citizens with the shout, "Christianity or Death!" as the heads are sawed off unbelievers, the bullets fly into their bodies, and their buildings are bombed into rubble.

Thank you Cindy, and thank you Hugo, for giving us hope for a sane future.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Native Americans and Progressives Protest Power Plants

Let me start by stating that I admire Native Americans. These are people who are genuinely native to the land that you stole from them. And I also envy Native Americans. That is because I cannot claim that I am "native" to any land. It is to my disgrace that I am a white male of European heritage, and am part of a group that continues to rape the land, pollute the air, and make unearned wealth off the backs of minorities.

And now the facts of this issue.

On one hand, the Calpine corporation wants to build power plants and drill for energy in Medicine Lake Highlands, CA.

On the other hand, we have an impending defilement of a Native American cultural landscape and animals living in lava tubes -- and the prospect of a new building, the tallest in California, being illuminated around the clock.

What to do? Well, this is a "no brainer", and I'm delighted to see that the people are fighting, protesting, and resisting this obscene destruction of a culturally sacred area.

If only we could turn the clock back and replace existing power plants with Native culture. If only we could eliminate our sick dependence on electricity and live a simple life of dawn-to-dusk farming, worship, and tribal ceremonies.

I honestly regret having been born in these sick times.

NYC Transit Strike: Did It Really Happen?

The subway workers' union in New York City is being fined $3M because they did what was right: They went out on strike to demand fair wages, respect, and justice. Or did they not strike? According to the Brennan Center of Justice (which is now bravely defending the prisoners of Guantanamo Bay), maybe the union did not go on strike.

This is what is implicit in their brief in support of the union, by stating that the union is entitled to a jury trial. And when you think about it, this is a wise insight. That is, who but our unbiased peers listening to evidence in a court are truly in a situation to determine whether their really was a strike?

Frankly, when I put my biases aside, I really have no idea whether there was a strike. For that matter, how can anyone -- other than a panel of jurors -- really know?

There is no truth other than that returned by a jury of our peers.

Rich-Poor Gap Explained

For non-academics, those Associated Press reporters are a sharp bunch:

The disparity between rich and poor is growing in America as the federal minimum wage has remained flat for years, union membership has declined and industries have faced global competition, according to a study released Thursday.

Well, it's obvious that the income gap is growing. Just think about your own experience. In school, you shared a dormitory room with other students -- and you were all equal. And now, a handful of you have become obscenely wealthy by exploiting the labor of your former roommates -- who live at subsistence wages when they manage to stave off starvation.

I even coined a phrase to describe this: "The rich get richer, and the poor get poorer."

But let's look closer at the reasons for this growing gap, as detailed in the news story. (Note: This is a news story, and not an opinion piece. That alone is evidence of its validity.)

A) The Federal Minimum Wage has remained flat. Indeed, I have long been a proponent of the $275/hour minimum wage. Can you imagine how wealthy we would all be with earnings like that?

B) Union membership has declined. Elementary economics says that unions make everyone better off because their members work hard and increase productivity. No unions mean shoddy work habits.

C) Global competition. Well, of course competition is a bad thing. In order for people to become affluent, we must replace competition with government monopolies -- and eventually a single, global monopoly. The Soviet Union did not become a great power because of competition, and we shouldn't expect any different for other nations.

To see what the enemy thinks, see the corporate-fascist lies over here.

Alternative Ways that Hamas Can Raise Money

The kind person who suggested free government grants for Hamas (see the comments section of the last post) links to some other stupendous ways that Hamas can raise money:

- Real estate foreclosures
- Playing on-line poker
- Get paid to try new products, take online surveys, participate in focus groups, and preview movie trailers
- Become a professional shopper

Unfortunately, most of these ideas require some effort, which in itself is racist. But still, if we can't make up their funding shortfall with your money, then I would suggest that Hamas try these methods.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Please Donate to Hamas

Talk about hypocrisy. The new Palestinian government is Islamic and our unelected so-called "President" has threatened to reduce aid to them. Ahem! Freedom of religion, anyone? First Amendment? Yes, George, just keep raping our Constitution. First, it was the denial of rights to the unconvicted prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, and now this!

Presently, America gives a stingy $234,000,000 to the Palestinians every year -- and if they stop, I will give generously. Will you?

An Open Letter to President Hu and The Communist Party of China

Your Excellency,

May I introduce myself?

My name is Professor Peter Kurgman, and I am tenured at a major university, an avowed Maoist, and I am authority on all matters of progressive thought. I am a fountain of compassionate insights and I maintain a sharp sense of knowing how to correct the plethora of injustices on our Planet, our communal Home.

And I hold multiple academic degrees...three PhDs!

With those credentials, you can plainly see that my opinions have much influence and insight throughout the academic world, and in a broader sense, throughout all progressive circles. Therefore, I know that you will appreciate the gravity of my deepest respect for your decision to protect your people from the fascist assaults of unfiltered Google searches.

For example, when one does a Google search on the term "Mao murderer" in America, only pages with capitalist lies are returned:

- Murder by Communism
- Museum of Communism FAQ
- The long march to mass murder
- Amazon Listmania! - View List "Mao Tse tung: the biggest mass murderer"

However, at Google China, under your benevolent guidance, the lies are exposed, and we can enjoy some fascinating reads. Here, the first four pages returned are:

- Psychology read extensively
- Chinadaily BBS - Taiwan Issue - There is no official censorship in China
- Take note - Talk China (Excerpt: "Mao never intentionally to kill any innocent people or his political opponents.")
- Mao: The Unknown Story (A broken link to a criticism of the book)

I was also pleased to see that although the American site returned many "Mao murderer" images, your Chinese site returned not a single image! Congratulations, Comrade, for shielding your people from vicious lies.

And yet, I am afraid that I am a victim of a terrible, terrible mistake. You see, when one does a China Google search for "Kurgman", no links to my blog are returned! Certainly, this is an oversight -- most likely due to over-ambitious Peoples Guardians carefully inspecting American propaganda. But even though I am in America (I am ashamed to say), I do not sympathize with the fascists who are occupying the White House, and I am emphatically opposed to our filthy culture of profits and racism.

Therefore, I would be most appreciative if you could correct this error. (I know you will!)

Most Gratefully and Humbly,

Professor Peter Kurgman, Ph.D., Ph.D., Ph.D.

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Hillary: Two Home Runs in One Week!

Sorry about the sports metaphor, but I can think of no better way to express my glee at the convergence of Hillary's marvelous rhetorical skills and her legendary grasp of history, economics, morals, and concern for The People.

First, it was her remark about how The House of Representatives is run like a plantation, and now, this:

"I don't think we're going to be doing our moral duty to each other if we don't figure out how we're going to provide quality affordable health care to everyone."
How true!

Our health-care system is a mess because we have not figured out how to make it work. But of course, we (that is, our government representatives and academics such as yours truly) know exactly how to make it work. We just don't know how to defeat the powerful fascist pharmaceutical companies who are making the people sick for their filthy profits.

And so, for now, here is how I am fulfilling my moral duty:

1. I am wearing the cap pictured above to my classes; it's a real morale booster and an educational tool -- and my students love it! (It looks especially sharp with a Che T-shirt.)

2. I am stressing to my graduate economics students how we have already figured out how to solve the housing tragedy (solution: public housing and rent control), the eduation tragedy (solution: public schools and government loans to students), the transportation tragedy (public transportation and gas taxes), and so on. And therefore, how shall we solve the health-care tragedy? (That will be on the final exam!)

3. After we solve the health-care tragedy, it's on to food, clothing, and shelter!

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Jesus Funnies

Nothing touches my funny bone like some good Jesus ridicule -- and there are plenty of clever pictures right here. These right-wing Christian zealots need to be get a metaphorical kick in the teeth to understand the problems with their blind zealotry towards a discredited faith.

I believe that Marx had something to say about this, although I'll need to check later -- or at my upcoming conference on the Hidden Inevitability of Collective Realities...plug plug plug!!

New York Moves to Limit Colleges That Seek Profit

According to The New York Times (really, the only source of information that one needs), New York State has

imposed a moratorium on new commercial colleges in the state, in the face of explosive growth in their enrollments and increasing reports of problems.
I applaud the People of New York for making this courageous decision.

"Problems" indeed!! Just as profits have been ruinous to every other aspect of life, profits are inimical to academic excellence. That is, we are talking about our youth and our future. They deserve nothing but an honest education; i.e., one where money is not a consideration.

In commercial colleges, professors have no tenure. Is that a recipe for a quality education?

In commercial colleges, there are no billion-dollar endowments that free the institution from the corruption of money. Is that a recipe for quality education?

In commercial colleges, there is a focus on dreary mind-numbing "practical" educations that reduce the pupil to a menial apprentice. There is no emphasis on progressive ideals or People's Causes. Is that a recipe for quality education?

Commercial colleges advertise! How obscene!

In commercial colleges, will you ever find a teacher like Professor Peter Kurgman? Is that a recipe for quality education?

Stop them and stop them now!

Sorry About That Last "Robertson" Post

Don't get me wrong; I still loathe Pat Robertson. But, apparently, one of my interns made a mistake and gave me my "distance" glasses when I clearly demanded my reading glasses.

In fact, it was not Pat Robertson who accused homosexuals of killing children and taking their blood -- but instead it was a political discussion on Iranian TV where they were simply discussing the history of Jews killing children and taking their blood for Passover.

Well, the Middlle East is a complicated place, and Israel is certainly not completely innocent here. May I suggest tolerance and discussion? To be sure, these topics need to be further explored. The people making the claims, Dr. Hasan Hanizadeh and Dr. Ali-Reza Akbari, do, after all, hold Ph.Ds.

Robertson: Homosexuals Kill Children and Use Their Blood for Rituals

This is completely beyond the pale, and I am totally livid. How dare that vile Pat Robertson make such despicable hate-filled lies about the gay community? The Christian Right has gone too far this time, and I say they must be stopped -- no matter what it takes.

In 1983, about 150 French children were murdered in a horrible way in the suburbs of Paris, before a homosexual holiday. Later research showed that the homosexuals had in fact killed them and taken their blood. This event caused riots in Paris, and the French government found itself under pressure. A similar incident took place in London, when many English children were killed by homosexuals. These two incidents still haunt the minds and souls of the Europeans, but due to the growing influence of the homosexual lobby in Europe - or to be precise, the influence of the homosexuals - these two incidents are, unfortunately, never mentioned."

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Boy changes name to KentuckyFriedCrueltyDotCom

Chris Garnett, a 19-year-old member of PETA, is dedicated to his cause. He has legally changed his name to KentuckyFriedCrueltyDotCom to protest Kentucky Fried Chicken's treatment of birds at a processing plant.

Young man, please apply for a government-sponsored student loan immediately so that I can speed you through our Admissions Office -- you need the maturity of a good mentor.

Yes, a name change is a good first step, but you must learn about Active Resistance to the KFC Nazis. Together, we can prevent the Slaughter of The Innocent.

Musings on Other Cultures II: Holiday Celebrations

Yes, as a citizen of the world, I am a firm believer in multiculturalism. And yet, I ponder...and ponder...do we really have multiculturalism in the United States? No, we do not. What we do have is white-bread corporate oppression of minorities, women, and persons of alternative genders.

Our oppressors are soft, fat, and depraved -- a perfect reflection of Middle America, a place that is a product of Republican-produced Hollywood depravity (which is also forced on the World Community!) and a complete moral void.

Our only hope is honest multiculturalism, one that embraces the purity of Earth and nature, as expressed by cultures that are vastly superior to this cesspool that is called "America". We have so much to learn from other cultures, so much to gain by following their lead. The common uneducated man in America should take a good look at these pictures and realize that the world is far larger, far more diverse, and far more moral than the rotten entity of The United States.

I am ashamed of being an American.

Monday, January 23, 2006

College Sophomore Stumps Moron Bush

Q: My name is Tiffany Cooper. I’m a sophomore here at Kansas State and I was just wanting to get your comments about education. Recently 12.7 billion dollars was cut from education. I was just wondering how is that supposed to help our futures?

You can read Bush's dimwitted answer here; suffice it to say that he is an idiot and an embarrassment.

Wake up, people! 12.7 Billion dollars is alot of money to gut from education, and if you can't see why this is so wrong, allow me to explain it to you:

1. Before government-sponsored student-loan programs began in 1957, there was no such thing as education. America was populated by an even dumber population than it has now, and they got by exlusively on subsistence farming.

2. Student loans enabled the United States to attempt to reach the high educational standards of the Soviet Union. See here for more.

3. Student loans are like free money. All you have to do is ask, and the government hands it to you. There is no cost. It's just a big win-win.

4. My services do not come cheap. If you want your children to be instructed by tenured enlightened progressives like me, then someone must pay them. If I was in the corporate world, I would be making at least ten times as much, but I am making great financial sacrifices for our nation's future. And that's why the government must lend you billions so that you can pay me.

Trust me, I'm worth every penny.

Make that win-win-win.

Now can we impeach that idiot Bush?

Musings on Other Cultures I: Toilet Habits

While lecturing my sociology students on the depraved culture of the United States, I was thinking about how simpler (yet superior!) cultures do things so much more humanely than we do.

Specifically, as pampered and spoiled Americans, we do not appreciate how the use of toilet paper depletes The Earth's resources and leads to the irreversible tragedy of global warming. And so, while Bush & Co. rape our planet, I for one will follow the lead of the caring indigenous peoples of the world and practice anal hygeine with my bare hand -- and preferably in a communal setting.

That is, I will do this as soon as regulations are passed that will prohibit the use of toilet paper by everyone. Just as my extra contributions to the IRS would be for naught unless taxes are raised on everyone, I will be fighting for universal toilet-paper prohibition...will you join me?

Or will you be an enemy of Our Planet?

Hillary Gets It Right on Plantations

Hillary was right on the money with this quote to a black audience:

The House "has been run like a plantation, and you know what I'm talking about," said Clinton

Hillary, you are the best!! But listen to someone like me, with plenty of experience in academia; you hit the right note -- now go with it!

Here are some more "talking points", all based on facts and history...and are all guaranteed winners:

1. When speaking to an audience of Chinese women, say: "The House of Representatives has been run like the Japanese Rape of Nanking...and you know what I'm talking about!"

2. When speaking to parents, say: "The House of Representatives has been run like John Wayne Gacy's bedroom...and you know what I'm talking about!"

3. When speaking to Jewish audiences, say: "The House of Representatives has been run like the crematoriums of Treblinka...and you know what I'm talking about!"

President Clinton!

Sunday, January 22, 2006

Hands Off Our Bodies, Judge Alito!

Today is the 33rd Anniversary of the Roe vs. Wade decision, and yet its importance still needs explaining.

Basically, the U.S. Constitution was written a very long time ago by some white men who could not possibly foresee our contemporary problems. Therefore, it is up to today's judges to interpret the spirit of The Constitution as a "living document" so that it can once again be relevant.

And one very obvious interpretation of The Ninth Amendment is that the government shall not deny the right of privacy to The People. And that means that the government has no right to ban abortions. Our privacy is sacrosanct! Our right to do as we will with our bodies shall not be violated.

Here are some other contemporary interpretions of The Constitution for today's complicated world:

1. The Ninth Amendment's right to privacy does not apply to the IRS.

2. The Ninth Amendment's right to our bodies does not apply to prescription drugs.

3. The Second Amendment's right to bear arms means that arms are illegal.

4. The Fourteenth Amendment's right to equal protection means that my university shall pay no taxes.

5. The Fourteenth Amendment's right to equal protection means that all levels of government must apply affirmative action quotas to give job preferences to blacks, Hispanics, women, gays, the physically challenged, the transgendered, the developmentally delayed, and felons.

6. The Fourteenth Amendment's right to equal protection means that if a crime is committed against a black/gay person, then the perpetrator should receive extra "hate crime" sentencing if he is white/heterosexual.

7. The Seventh Amendment's right to a jury trial means that citizens must be drafted into jury duty, and that they shall make no claim of the Ninth Amendment's right to privacy.

And that's why we need judges who can apply the spirit of the obsolete law to the world of 2006.

Get your filthy hands off my body, Judge!

Who Are We to Judge Islam?

Yes, it's too easy for Americans -- who generally eat too much, talk too loud, and are bigoted -- to ridicule other cultures that have a much longer history.

Specifically, do we really need to be so critical of Islamic decapitations when our own history is even more violent? Norman Rockwell captured the phenomena of American beheadings long before the right-wing media made a sport of blaming Islam for such activities.

For shame, America!

Oh, how I wish I was French!

Activist Strips to Protest Meat Eating

Every so often, a brave person will perform an act whose profoundness brings me to tears. And yes, I did weep when I read that one such courageous activist in Duluth MN made such a powerful statement.

For is it not true that animals "are made of flesh and blood and bone just as humans are"? And therefore, are they not our equals?

Animals respect people; how will people learn to respect animals? I say: Only when their teachers display their dignity to the world, as this brave young martyr has.

Saturday, January 21, 2006

Bush: Listen to The Pakistani People!

Bush: Listen to the Pakistani people and stop offending them! Stop attacking them!

Here's why:

1. They have America's best interests at heart.

2. As People of Color, they know about suffering.

3. They have nuclear weapons...don't provoke them!

Friday, January 20, 2006

Insurance = Free Things for The People

Insurance allows us to get things for free.

Specifically, a good insurance policy protects against everything, from the catastrophic loss of real estate to catastrophic repairs of toasters -- paid for by insurance known as "extended warranties". At one time, people had to pay for appliance repairs, or worse, buy replacements for their broken space heaters, alarm clocks, and can openers. But now, we can rest assured that our "extended warranty" insurance will pay for repairs, for free.

So, let me challenge you with some questions:

  1. Wouldn't it be a good idea for the government to make everyone buy extended warranties for everything?
  2. Wouldn't it be especially important for the government to provide us with the same free insurance against getting sick?
  3. If you wouldn't consider purchasing a pair of scissors without insurance, then why should you have to get a medical checkup without insurance?

Mr. Bin Laden, We Welcome You!

Have you read the text of Osama Bin Laden's latest speech? It's wonderous! He's sounds like John Kerry with charisma...perfect for the 2008 election!

But I plan to speak about the repeated errors your President Bush has committed in comments on the results of your polls that show an overwhelming majority of you want the withdrawal of American troops from Iraq. But he (Bush) has opposed this wish...

Pentagon figures show the number of your dead and wounded is increasing not to mention the massive material losses, the destruction of the soldiers' morale there and the rise in cases of suicide among them.

...the butcher of freedom in the world (Bush) had decided to bomb the headquarters of the Al-Jazeera in Qatar after bombing its offices in Kabul and Baghdad.

...there is no difference between this (U.S.) criminality and Saddam's criminality.

Read, if you will, the reports of the horrors in Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo prisons.

We welcome you to the Democratic Party, Mr. Bin Laden! And if you decline our nomination, then will you at least be a speech writer for us?

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Sorry About That Last "Black Discrimination" Entry

Well, as it happens, I was using a fraudulent article in the prior entry.

It turns out that the real article was about discrimination against Jews in Iran and how they are not necessarily uncomfortable! Never mind!

Well, of course the Iranian Jews are not uncomfortable; that is, if Jews are guests in another country, they should listen to their hosts and display some humility. And besides, they have a lot to account for, what with Israel threatening Iran.

Also, the article wasn't written by the foreign press, but was instead written by CNN correspondent Kevin Sites.

And while they say they don't face discrimination from their fellow Iranians, Jews here can't be considered for jobs as teachers, unless they are teaching members of their own community. Government jobs, even junior level positions, are also off limits.

Black People Strangely Accept Discrimination

A pupil of mine sent me a foreign-press article about how black people are discriminated against in the USA, and yet they are "not necessarily uncomfortable".

Read this:

And while they say they don't face discrimination from their fellow Americans, blacks here can't be considered for jobs as teachers, unless they are teaching members of their own community. Government jobs, even junior level positions, are also off limits.
Who could have come to such a stupid conclusion? Probably the Zionist press...

Surrender to Bin Laden Before He Hurts Us

We are very lucky, as Osama Bin Laden threatened to attack America today...but he also offered a truce! Bush, you idiot...take the truce! Mr. Bin Laden is a very powerful man who can hurt us, so let's do what he wants and then he'll leave us alone.

I wonder, though...why would Mr. Bin Laden be so ready to forgive America after all we have done to harm his people?

Oh, and Mr. Bin Laden? I didn't vote for Bush!

The People Defeat Wal-Mart

Maryland legislated that Wal-Mart pay at least 8% of their payroll on employee health benefits. This is a victory for working people.

In fact, when my plumber recently charged $1,000 to install low-flush toilets, I told him, "Sorry, but I shall pay you only $920, and send the remaining $80 to your dentist to retain for your next tooth cleaning." Of course, he was grateful, and viewed this as a personal victory.

But I wonder: Why only 8%? Nothing is more important than health care, so why not 10% or 20%? Or, for that matter, why not 100%? Wouldn't it be prudent to force all employers to pay all wages in the from of health benefits?

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