Friday, February 24, 2006



hi...kathy here for prof k

like this is so totally cool?

shout out to beta kappa...hiya

i so hate bush ok?


Two Week Sabbatical

My presence is needed at an academic conference, so I will be unable to post anything here until about March 8th or so. I am in very great demand, and simply have no time to do everything.

At the conference, I will be leading a symposium called: “Hitler Comparisons in Everyday Discourse; Why So Few?” My own view is that the public debate would be greatly advanced if there were more comparisons made with Nazis in general, and with Hitler in particular. As far as I know, all attendees will be in agreement on this issue, though there might be some disagreement as to when Himmler and Goebbels should also be used.

In my absence, I will be trusting the “keys” to this blog to my trusted intern and PhD candidate Kathy. She is intelligent, incisive, articulate, and diligent. Her prolific contributions will challenge your mind.

See you in two weeks.

In Solidarity,

Professor Dr. Dr. Dr. Peter Kurgman PhD PhD PhD

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Insult The President!

What a great idea! Insult The President!

Welcome to the insult buying page. That’s right, this is where you make the big decision to pony up $19.95 to tell the President what you really think! And what do you get for your money? We will (1) post your insult to the website, (2) send a physical letter of your insult to the President, and (3) mail you a copy of the letter with a certificate of authenticity, suitable for display.

I can’t wait to display my certified insult to Shrub alongside my PhDs! (Get it? Shrub?)

Let’s see…how would this look next to my Harvard credentials:

Dear Monkey Scum:

Did your slaves prepare your evening bath tonight? Was it in a tub of hot oil gained at the expense of our youth, our women, our minorities, and our alternative-gendered, you corrupt theocratic homicidal moron?

You’re one ugly bastard, too.


Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD

Can Insulting Marxism be Considered Blasphemy, Too?

I never liked Germans. Too white and too fascist. But in the last few years, they’ve really come around.

And I was especially impressed to read about how the Germans are applying a blasphemy law to convict one of their own Nazis of insulting Islam.

A German court on Thursday convicted a businessman of insulting Islam by printing the word "Koran" on toilet paper and offering it to mosques…Manfred van H. printed out sheets of toilet paper bearing the word "Koran" shortly after a group of Muslims carried out a series of bomb attacks in London in July 2005. He sent the paper to German television stations, magazines and some 15 mosques…He also offered his toilet paper for sale on the Internet at a price of 4 euros ($4.76) per roll, saying the proceeds would go toward a "memorial to all the victims of Islamic terrorism."

Can you imagine that? Writing the word “Koran” on toilet paper?

Now, as you know, many of our enemies refer to Marxism as a “religion”. Well, let’s agree to that, and then apply blasphemy laws to anyone who insults Marx, his teachings, or any variant of Socialism. Yes, they’re the ones who are the real terrorists! If we put enemies of the state in education camps for socialism blasphemy, it would be a good first step to a world revolution!

If the Germans can do this with anti-Muslim hatred, then Americans can do it with anti-socialist hatred. It succeeded before, and it can succeed again!

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Punish Lawrence Summers

Speaking of punishments, can we now bring legal proceedings against former Harvard President and still-misogynist Lawrence Summers?

Besides disgracing my alma mater with his bigoted remarks, he has insulted women everywhere by including "innate ability" as one possible area to explore as an explanation for the under-representation of women in the Harvard math-and-science faculty. And on Tuesday, Mr. Summers finally lost his fight against an understandably outraged faculty and was tossed out. It was a true People's Victory!

But then, consider that this was pure hate speech. Vile and putrid hate speech. And as such, there are legal remedies that must be applied. Losing his job is not enough, for it does not send a sufficient message to the millions of women who were hurt by his comments.

How dare he suggest that gender differences be studied? How dare he suggest that men and women are not identical?

Did it ever occur to him that maybe women do not enter math and science because of dominating misogynists like him? As a feminist myself, that's certainly a reason why I stayed away from math and "science"! (And I put quotations around "science" because I really am a scientist, a social scientist -- which is the highest order of scientist. Think of it as being a "sun" scientist instead of being an "ice" scientist.)

Let us hope that his replacement refrains from offending anyone. Offense, after all, is the antithesis of freedom. And of science.

And as an extra bonus, Harvard can once again divest from the Zionist State!

Punish the Danish Cartoonists

The cartoonists who drew the insensitive pictures of The Prophet must be punished.

Do we not punish Klansmen? Do we not punish homophobes? Do we not punish anyone who hates? Words hurt, and they hurt equally. And there are over one billion Muslims who have been hurt by the cruel cartoons published by a white, European, newspaper.

These white people have insulted the religion of many. These white people have questioned the beliefs of others. Since when has any civilized society tolerated the questioning of others' beliefs? The next thing you know, they'll be questioning World Socialism!

If there was ever a case for blasphemy laws, this is it. Those guilty must be punished.

Incidentally, the above picture is of the American genocide in the Abu Ghraib prison. I am not afraid of publishing those pictures. Even with the threat of White House Christian retaliation, I am not afraid.

Give American Air-Traffic Control to Iran

This will be the first and last time that I agree with fascist Bush on anything.

(Well, I almost agreed with his Free Drug Plan for senior citizens, except that it was limited to drugs and limited to senior citizens.)

But in any case, his endorsement of turning over U.S. port operations to an Arab country makes good sense. Or, in his words:

"I want those who are questioning it to step up and explain why all of a sudden a Middle Eastern company is held to a different standard than a Great British company."

In the interest of global understanding, it is now imperative to turn over domestic air-traffic control to an Iranian company. That is the sort of conciliatory message that the world needs to hear.

It would clearly demonstrate that we will also not hold an Iranian company to a different standard than a Great British country.

Monday, February 20, 2006

Jimmy Carter: The Conscience of Our Planet

How I long for the clear moral thinking of President Jimmy Carter. As he wrote in today’s Washington Post:

Israel moved yesterday to withhold funds (about $50 million per month) that the Palestinians earn from customs and tax revenue… the likely results will be to alienate the already oppressed and innocent Palestinians, to incite violence, and to increase the domestic influence and international esteem of Hamas.

I felt the same way about one year ago while shopping for tofu-based celery stalks in the food co-op. (Let the Tofu-Stalks age a few weeks, and they crunch like celery, too. Or you can accelerate the aging process by joining the freegans at the co-op dumpster.)

Anyway, some young men entered the store and threatened to shoot the clerk unless they were given all the money in the store. I felt sorry for these young men. After all, what sort of monster could feel bitterness towards anyone stealing a loaf of bread to feed their family? And so, I urged the clerk to hand over all the money in the store, and whatever was in his wallet, too.

In almost the same words that Jimmy Carter used, I cried, “Please give them all of your money, your credit cards, your ATM cards, and all of the associated PINs and passwords. They are oppressed and innocent, and your denial to give them money will only alienate them, incite them to violence, and increase the influence of bad role models.”

The clerk, distracted by me, hesitated -- and the young men, understandably enraged by our racist culture, began beating him. Because I abhor violence, I immediately left the store and ran home. I heard gunshots behind me, and wept for the hungry young men who were being brutalized by our cruel society.

Academic Freedom: Burn the Jews

True academic freedom means that all views must be represented, and that their validity is a function of the speakers’ perspectives. One person's lie is another's truth. One person's murder is another's struggle and resistance! And what is more noble that struggling and resisting?

Unlike American Universities, constrained by our fascist theocratic state, other parts of the world know what real academic freedom is -- as illustrated by this open exchange of ideas with a political science major at Universite Libanaise. (It is my dream to teach at a University with a French name...) Anyway, our university student opines:

"Just like Hitler fought the Jews – We are a great Islamic nation of Jihad, and we too should fight the Jews and burn them."

The young man is expressing a viewpoint from his perspective. And, of course, its clever subtlety leaves many interpretations. The most likely interpretation is that he is expressing an understandable (and uncontrollable) dissent from the years of abuse at the hands of the Zionist State. But he means well. For unlike Europeans, Arabs are People of Color (i.e, “Sun People”) and are incapable of hostile thoughts. Furthermore, he is clearly a devout Muslim, and Islam is Peace.

Besides, he is only using a figure of speech.

Upcoming Bay Area Events

Mark your calendars, people, we have some major Bay Area events coming up:

On February 22nd, there will be a screening of 9/11: An Inside Job. The documentary proves the “connection between the put options on both American and United Airlines and the CIA as well as many other incriminating facts.” The film was made by a former “narcotics investigator in the L.A. Police Department,” so you know that it must be true. Listen, peeps, this so-called “9/11 tragedy” simply did not happen!

On February 24th, there will be a progressive meeting to discuss The People’s Republic (we’re almost there!) of Venezuela, where we learn first –hand about “the revolutionary leaders who are making the kind of miracles in education, health, housing, economic development, etc., that could revive and transform the inner cities of the United States”. That’s what it takes, friends – we need to get the right revolutionaries in place for instant miracles in every aspect of our lives. The working class, oppressed and exploited, must be lead by knowledgeable visionaries who can show the way.

On the same night, only thirty minutes later (how can I attend both?) there will be a talk on Black Liberation and Socialism, focusing on “the struggles against racism and a vision for continued resistance with the goal of eliminating racism.” I a nticipate that we will learn much on how socialist success in African nations can be exported to the United States to achieve our goal of smashing racism.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Musings on Other Cultures VII: Necklacing

It has been twenty years since I renamed one of my cats from “Chibbles” to “Winnie Mandela”. Ms. Mandela’s cause was the abolishment of apartheid in South Africa, and my best way of paying tribute was to rename Chibbles.

Before Winnie (the liberator, not the cat) was unfairly convicted on 43 counts of fraud and 25 of theft, she declared that necklacing was an appropriate way of ending apartheid.

"Necklacing" is the liberating practice of tossing a tire over an oppressor, dousing it with gasoline, igniting it, and watching the enemy burn to death. Although rather mild when compared with American atrocities such as detaining prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, permitting nonunion labor at Wal-Mart, and having a cold-blooded murderer for a Vice-President, some people might object that necklacings contributed to global warming.

Realistically, there is truth to this. We must do whatever we can to prevent the horrors of warmer weather, and necklacings clearly violated that principle. But then, who are we, as depraved Westerners, to say that strangulation or drownings would have been a more eco-friendly way of ending apartheid? The fact is that there is really no such thing as “truth” anyway – especially when it comes to morality.

But let’s make an exception here. To condemn necklacing is to disrespect the “Mandella” name.

And besides, although necklacing is not as popular as it once was, it still serves a useful function now and then:

At Least 15 Die in Nigeria Cartoon Protest

Associated Press Writer

MAIDUGURI, Nigeria (AP) -- Nigerian Muslims protesting caricatures of the Prophet Muhammad attacked Christians and burned churches on Saturday, killing at least 15 people in the deadliest confrontation yet in the whirlwind of Muslim anger over the drawings.

It was the first major protest to erupt over the issue in Africa's most populous nation. An Associated Press reporter saw mobs of Muslim protesters swarm through the city center with machetes, sticks and iron rods. One group threw a tire around a man, poured gas on him and set him ablaze.

Global Women's Strike!

As a proud member of the Global Women’s Strike, I encourage everyone I meet to support our cause, which is the human cause:


And as a respected professor with numerous academic achievements, I have designed my “Progressive Struggles for Global Communities” course (which, I may add, is very popular) to match the tenets of the Strike’s Global Demands:

Payment for all caring work - in wages, pensions, land & other resources.

It’s a fact that women perform 2/3 of the world’s work, and do not get paid for it. Why? Because they perform caring work and the male American military machine only pays for their own genocidal aggression. We need, right now, a mass redistribution of wealth to pay for female caring work.

Pay equity for all, women & men, in the global market

Of course, the pay equity will occur only after the aforementioned wealth redistribution. Ideally, everyone will get paid the same wages, regardless of what they do. Equality must be our goal.

Food security for breastfeeding mothers, paid maternity leave and maternity breaks. Stop penalizing us for being women.

It’s also a fact that breastfeeding mothers are susceptible to starvation, which is why food security must be guaranteed. And since private markets have repeatedly demonstrated their failure to produce food, this function must be administered by a caring (which means female) government. And, needless to say, maternity leave should be paid at triple wages; i.e., having a child demands more than straight pay. Let's continue the work of Betty Friedan and stop penalizing us for being women!

Accessible clean water, healthcare, housing, transport, literacy.

When will we finally rise in unity and demand an end to our poisoned water, our lack of medicine, our living in the gutters, our absence of transportation, and our illiterate status? When will we finally have a caring government?

Non-polluting energy & technology which shortens the hours we work. We all need stoves, fridges, washing machines, computers, & time off!

Simply put, we work continuously and need time off. And yet, with all that work, we have no stoves, fridges, washing machines, or computers. Someone…make it happen! And it had better not pollute.

Protection & asylum from all violence & persecution, including by family members & people in positions of authority.

And that goes especially for protection from the fascists in the White House. People, do I smell a revolution?

Freedom of movement. Capital travels freely, why not people?

I want to take a dozen Pakistani tribesmen into my house, but our racist dictatorial regime will not permit their free movement into America. Well, I demand that they allow it, and you should demand it as well.

Saturday, February 18, 2006

"9/11" Never Happened

I think that there is sufficient reason to believe that the purported events of “9/11” never happened. Of course, the media and politicians will not entertain a scholarly inquiry into the truth of 9/11 (you will get shouted down for even raising the topic), but at least I can discuss it here.

So, let’s think carefully about reasons to doubt the so-called “hijacked airplanes”.

A) We already have irrefutable proof that the Pentagon “crash” never happened.

B) We have information on the WTC hoax that proves, frame by frame, that things weren’t what you thought.

C) If it is so obvious that these crashes happened, then how could there possibly be so many different accounts of the truth?

And now, let’s think about WHO…

A) Gained by “9/11”?

B) Used 9/11 to steal the 2004 presidential election?

C) Used 9/11 to justify a genocide in Iraq and threaten another genocide in Iran?

D) Is affiliated with a military contractor that made millions of $$$ off this genocide, and funneled the money to oil companies to destroy natural habitats (and indigenous peoples) in Alaska, and then went on to murder the only witness during a “hunting accident”?

Furthermore, if so many people were killed, then how could their “families” be so vocal? Shouldn’t they be mourning?

How could the so-called “hijackers” have been from Saudi Arabia, since we know that the Saudis are our friends?

How could the hijackers have been Muslims, since Islam is Peace? Even our moron president knows that!

If everyone is so sure that 9/11 happened, then why are they afraid of a scientific inquiry? Their very resistance to scholarly research is proof that they have something to hide! I say: “9/11” did not happen!

Pantomime for Social Change

I always admired pantomime as being the one of the highest forms of entertainment. And that is why my students will be learning social change by way of performing pantomime.

The course outline was developed by Training for Change, which leads workshops for some very worthwhile causes, such as "civil disobedience workshops for nursing-home workers" -- and also has a most impressive client list, including Greenpeace USA, ACT-UP, and The Women's Prison Association.

My course's syllabus, placing emphasis on Progress Through Collective Conflict, is taken directly from the Training for Change Tool Page:

Group I

Create a pantomime in which some of you are engaging in injustice against the rest of you. Create a visual way of showing which are those who are doing the injustice. In the pantomime, show the oppressed ones rising up or in some way confronting the injustice, nonviolently. We ask for this realistic note: not all the oppressed ones are united, but this does not necessarily prevent success.

Group II

Create a pantomime in which about half of you are engaged in some collective activity that gives you satisfaction or productivity. Then the other half tries to take over the first group and force it to do some different activity. The first half resists nonviolently.

Group III

Create a pantomime in which one-fourth of you are fighting with another one-fourth of you. Start with arguing, and you can escalate to being physical but it's not OK to hurt anyone. The other half of you not involved in the fight intervene nonviolently to reduce the physicalness of the fighting, although not to resolve the conflict.

Friday, February 17, 2006

From The Mailbag: Gay in Australia

A confused reader seeks assistance...

Dear Sir:

I have just run into a problem with the current fashion. I have just received a formal warning for telling a homosexual young man, “Lets not talk about this," when he told me that he found a boy we were talking about to be "hot". Within two hours, a number of teachers were already fashionably foaming at the mouth. The fashionable, legal system in Australia certainly does not help with its anti-discrimination and harassment laws in which an act of discrimination or harassment is defined as basically anything that could offend anyone that is fashionable.

...and I am glad to help:

Free thought and free speech are the bedrock of all free societies. The ability to speak one's mind and to question others without fear of violent reprisal are at the heart of our liberal ideals.

And as in America, I see that Australia respects individual freedoms of speech to inquire, discuss, and criticize.

In your case, permit me to give examples of how you can be use these freedoms:

"Are there any other boys who are hot?"
"Can you teach me more about your intriguing hobby?"
"I wish I was gay; can you help me?"

"The oppression of your lifestyle disgusts me."
"Your community will benefit after the revolution."
"Capitalism only encourages gender bias."

"I hate heterosexuals."
"I hate white people."
"I hate Christians."

In short, you must follow two simple rules:

1. It is a crime to discuss these matters in a hurtful way
2. It is a crime to not discuss these matters at all

Which, of course, leaves the only morally-permissible alternative, which is:

3. Recognize the intrinsic value of progressive thought, and build on it, nourish it, and respect it. Inquire, discuss, and criticize!

Remember, free speech becomes hurtful speech if people are offended or ignored.


Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD

Thursday, February 16, 2006

A Little Humor

In these times, we occasionally need levity to offset the stifling fascist tyranny that we live under.

And so, I highly recommend these two wonderful jokes, both from the Huffington Post.

First, we have Steve Martin, with this uproarious line:

Vice President Dick Cheney, while hunting wild geese in the Rose Garden, accidentally shot President Bush twice, once in the heart and once in the head.

And then, we have the ever-witty Bill Maher (who, frankly, I never heard of before), with this:

Cheney: "You think he's hurt. Are you a doctor?"
Doctor: "Yes. I'm your doctor. I travel with you all the time."
Cheney: "Ah yes. The Jew. I didn't recognize you without the rib spreader."

But all joking aside, you are a murderer, Dick Cheney. And the courageous few, including academics like myself, will remember.

From the Mailbag: Troubled Mom

A distraught mother sent this message to me today; a plea to help her son:

Dear Professor,

I cannot overstate how much your blog means to me. You have the courage to SAY WHAT NO ONE ELSE WILL SAY!!!!!!!

My son is a junior in high school and I desperately want him to be exposed to passionate scholars such as you. He has a 2400 on his SAT's, straight A's, high scores on 32 Advanced Placement Tests and a brilliant varsity football record. The problem is I fear I will not be able to afford the excellent education you provide. To this end, my husband and I have been working 80 hours a week each since our son (whose name escapes me, but it will come back) was born to put aside the requisite $4.5 million for his college tuition. I pray fervently that we will have enough. His life depends on it, oh wise one!

In the meantime, I will try to expose him to your thought-provoking commentary on our sorry times. Why can't anyone else say what you are saying?

To which I helpfully responded:

Thank you for your recognition of my unique contributions to the public discourse.

May I suggest that your son will have far more difficulties that you can imagine? That is, we can predict with complete certainty that his participation in the patriarchal sport of "football" will inevitably be translated into explosive outbursts of misogynistic violence.

Furthermore, you are setting a bad example on his impressionable mind by performing 80 hours of slavery every week. Our government, currently occupied by filthy-rich hegemonic barbarians, should be your source for free money. Please look into this.

I also wonder why you have neglected to mention any concern about your daughters. Apparently, your entire family has been conditioned by our male-dominated society to further the degradation of women. It is not your fault, however, as you too are a victim of capitalism's systemic gendercide.

With all that said, I nevertheless encourage you to compel your son to read my articles. For his own good, he should forego football and instead prepare essays that support and confirm my insights. He needs to be pointed in right direction.

I now need to go to the lecture hall to speak to 400 eager political science majors. Although my talk was scheduled to begin twenty minutes ago, it was in society's interest that I respond to your correspondence instead. The students will wait for me.


Professor Peter Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

America: Land of Hate

The most powerful tool that a society has to protect the most vulnerable among us is an effective Hate Speech Code.

Simply put, it is not only wrong, but it is illegal to say anything to anyone that can be construed as offensive or hurtful. And by enforcing this rule, we can ensure that no one will ever be exposed to insensitive comments. Yes, we have free speech in this country, and I for one, will defend that right no matter what -- and would do so even if I did not have tenure.

But free speech ends when other people's feelings are concerned.

Let's examine typical examples of hate speech:

A) Man to Woman: "May I hold that door open for you?"

This example of sexism conveys a dangerous gender-based threat with undercurrents of spontaneous violence. And it tacitly conveys a vile misogynist hatred that is deeply offensive -- and must be countered with immediate legal action.

B) An Ice Person joins a supermarket line with an Ice Cashier instead of joining a line with a Sun Cashier.

This explicit expression of racism sends a message of intimidation and fear -- while diminishing the contributions of an entire people and threatening the slavery of many generations to come. The offense warrants incarceration and reparations.

C) The graphical display of deities and prophets.

Religious faith is sacred, and any attempt to contravene another's beliefs is the moral and physical equivalent of genocide. As such, the offended party has an unquestioned right to respond in any way deemed appropriate, as the point of "legalities" is meaningless in the context of defending one's faith from insensitive attacks. (And maybe those theocratic Christian monsters in the White House should read that last paragraph again.)

In summary, there is no room in a progressive society for hate. And that includes any comments, questions, or insinuations that are based on race, color, creed, sex, age, weight, height, disability, national origin, religion, political opinions, veteran's status, conviction records, or anything else that might possibly cause emotional harm to another. A just society will punish, educate, and isolate offenders.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Cheney Scandal Unstoppable

Never mind the usual tabloid right-wing nonsense about mobs of so-called “rioters” in Pakistan allegedly screaming for “Death to America”, never mind the so-called Iranian nuclear weapons and their alleged promise to use them on Israel, and so forth. The fact is: We are not going to be distracted from the Cheney shooting scandal.

This story is bigger than you think:

There is no way to play the usual equivocating politics with a story about the vice-president ACTUALLY SHOOTING SOMEONE. And that's why I guarantee you this story isn't going away: It's a perfect way for the press to indict the entire Administration through the perfect metaphor.

That’s correct. In fact, with the midterm elections coming up, Cheney thought that shooting someone in a “hunting accident” would be the perfect way to score points with the NRA. But guess what? We’re on to you, and this scandal will soon bring down the entire corporate-capitalist-fascist-militarist-racist Zionist right-wing Christian theocracy that the Chimpanzee Bush and his Nazi lieutenants forced on us in their violent coup-d’etat of 2000.

This story will not go away, Cheney!

Musings on Other Cultures VI: Voodoo

While the filthy world of dog-eat-dog capitalism destroys life and degrades us all, it is reassuring to know that some faiths create life and uplift humanity.

While the cruel Ice People practice Christianity (in defiance of the U.S. Constitution!) and while their ruling class rapes the working class, we can travel to Haiti, and see how Voodoo creates and enriches all. These people, warm and human, have relationships with their spirits—relationships that create, embolden, and vitalize. Sadly, our parasitic corporatocracy thrives by taking from these people. The capitalists are using their culture to get fat and rich.

They are honest, and we are criminal. And when I think of the devastation that my ancestors brought to this world from Europe, it pains me to be alive. To make amends, my students will be required to practice Voodoo. And I apologize to the warm Sun People for having been born.

Never Mind Previous Article

Well, apparently my newest intern fed me some incorrect information. It turns out that Bush did not deny American slavery (in public, at least), but in fact it was just an old news item about some Holocaust denial in a Saudi Government newspaper.

I say: Impossible! If the Saudi government would say such a thing, then I am sure that President Gore would not have been in Saudi Arabia this week speaking about “the channels of friendship and mutual understanding between Saudi Arabia and the United States.”

Similarly, there is no way that President Gore, as someone with a well-earned reputation for caring and compassion, would speak of friendship with a country that would permit a sheik to say, at their most holy mosque in Mecca:

"Read history and you will understand that the Jews of yesterday are the evil fathers of the Jews of today, who are evil offspring, infidels, distorters of [God's] words, calf-worshippers, prophet-murderers, prophecy-deniers... the scum of the human race whom Allah cursed and turned into apes and pigs… These are the Jews, an ongoing continuum of deceit, obstinacy, licentiousness, evil, and corruption..."

That is like saying Hillary Clinton would sit through a blood-libel speech given by the wife of a terrorist, and then hug her afterwards. They are just good friends with progressive causes.

Bush: American Slavery “A Lie”

I…am…too…enraged…for…words. How…DARE…this…unelected…fascist…make…such…racist …and…inflammatory…remarks…

Monday, February 13, 2006

Dick Cheney, the Bastard, Shoots Someone

My apologies for spending too much time musing on Iranian nuclear weapons, which, as I already stated, is just a right-wing Zionist myth to continue their genocide-for-oil.

Onto important matters: Dick Cheney shot someone!!

He was breaking the law!!

There’s a cover-up here. Why didn’t the racist dogs in the White House tell anyone?!?

Without a doubt, this cold-blooded hunting "accident" was calculated to win favor with the NRA for the midterm elections.

I am enraged, I am livid, and I can think of nothing else now – and I might not think of anything else ever again! GODDAMIT! GODDAMIT! GODDAMIT! NOTHING ELSE MATTERS GODDAMIT!

President Gore in Saudi Arabia

And yes, President Gore is the Chief Executive of the United States, as he legitimately won the 2000 election and would have undeniably been reelected in 2004.

So, let’s listen to our President, as he addressed his audience at the Jeddah Economic Forum.

Gore Decries Treatment of Arabs Post 9-11

Former Vice President Al Gore told a mainly Saudi audience on Sunday that the U.S. government committed "terrible abuses" against Arabs after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, and that most Americans did not support such treatment.
How true! And at this point, I am wondering if so-called “9/11” ever happened at all! Did the World Trade Center really exist, or was it merely a fabrication to justify the American genocide against Arabs? We might never know.

Furthermore, if my university is a representative sample of the American population, then we can plainly state that all Americans are sickened by the racist murders of Arabs in America.

Gore said Arabs had been "indiscriminately rounded up" and held in "unforgivable" conditions.

Yes! Yes! These are brave words from our president! Why has the story of American extermination camps been covered up?

"The thoughtless way in which visas are now handled, that is a mistake," Gore said during the Jiddah Economic Forum. "The worst thing we can possibly do is to cut off the channels of friendship and mutual understanding between Saudi Arabia and the United States."

Here is a president who knows who America’s real friends are. Instead of speaking of the treacherous Zionists as “allies”, President Gore identifies the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia as our friends.

This should dispel all the vicious lies that are said about Saudi Arabia, such as how:

…and so many more lies, lies, and lies.

Gore told the largely Saudi audience, many of them educated at U.S. universities, that Arabs in the United States had been "indiscriminately rounded up, often on minor charges of overstaying a visa or not having a green card in proper order, and held in conditions that were just unforgivable."

This, of course, is based on the so-called “fact” that the nineteen “9/11 hijackers” were from Saudi Arabia. See how the fabricated “9/11” charges are converted to racist actions against Sun People?

"Unfortunately there have been terrible abuses and it's wrong," Gore said. "I do want you to know that it does not represent the desires or wishes or feelings of the majority of the citizens of my country."

This too is correct. Of course, most Americans abhor these abuses, and know that Arabs and Muslims are our friends. And again, never mind the lies that 88% of Jordanians support suicide bombings, 99% of Lebanese have an unfavorable opinion of Jews, and 62% of Pakistanis have confidence in Osama bin Laden.

President Gore knows his priorities, and speaks with elegance, knowledge, and benevolence. He has a vision, he has the expertise, and it is a crime that he does not have the power.

Headline of the Day

Reuters: Thousands would Die if US Attacked Iran: Study

First and foremost, as an academic, I know that if something is reported in a study, then it is the unequivocal truth—although I’m a little surprised that the study did not conclude that tens of millions of Iranians would die, as what has happened in Iraq.

Regardless, this grim statistic alone is sufficient reason for the USA to (somehow!) restrain itself in its continuing genocide-for-oil.

Also, do not allow dangerous right-wing fanatics to dominate this debate by claiming falsehoods such as the alternative being American cities being exterminated by Iranian nuclear weapons. As we know:

Incidentally, the source of the report is the Oxford Research Group. Their credentials as being an impartial arbiter of world affairs is best exemplified in their briefing paper on the Israeli-Palestinian conflict:

The Oslo peace process broke down four years ago and the return to violence has already claimed the lives of 973 Israelis and 3,747 Palestinians. Israeli forces have injured 27,484 Palestinians, confiscated 224,415 dunums of Palestinian land, razed 72,951 dunums, and are estimated to have uprooted 1,167,913 trees. The road map to peace, launched by the Quartet with so much fanfare on 2 June 2003, is in tatters. A voluntary agreement between the parties is out of the question because of the acute asymmetry of power between them: Israel is too strong and the Palestinians are too weak.

Succinct and accurate: A) More dead Palestinians than Israelis, and B) Over one million dead trees, proves that: C) There will never be an agreement becauseIsrael is too strong. And yes, I am particularly disturbed by the Israeli Tree Holocaust.

With credentials like that, it’s no wonder that Reuters saw fit to headline this study.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Error in Last Article

Well, it appears that once again I have been deceived by an incompetent intern.

It turns out that the picture in the last article refers to American civilians attempting to inspect a Lockheed-Martin plant in California.

To which I say: Good for them! The American War Machine must be stopped immediately, and the only way to do this is with grass-roots, bottom-up, concerted people’s resistance.

For starters, the Lockheed-Martin plant has been identified as a possible terrorist target. Why should anyone be forced to live near a terrorist target in a state that did not vote for Bush? And besides, Lockheed-Martin produces hazardous waste, they manufacture Weapons of Mass Destruction, they violate international law, they probably manufacture weapons used by the Zionist state in their continuing genocide of the Palestinian people, they pose an explicit racist threat to the Muslim Community, they probably don’t run a union shop, and I would bet anything that they stock their vending machines with Coca-Cola.

We’re winning the War of Peace, people! Keep it up!

American Civilians Inspect Iranian Weapons

This, friends, is truly criminal. Iran is a sovereign nation with every right to produce whatever weapons it pleases—especially in light of the nuclear-armed Zionist state nearby. And yes, the right-wing warmongers are raising their usual empty straw men of Iranian President Ahmadinejad promising to remove the Zionist state from the region and hundreds of thousand of his followers chanting "Nuclear energy is our undisputable right," "Death to America," "Death of Israel," "Death to Denmark."

But before you interfere with the sovereign Iranian state, how about inspecting Israel? Or how about inspecting the war state of the USA?

Quote of The Day

Masked riders in the parades have long used the opportunity to mock the ruling class and government officials, said Mardi Gras expert Arthur Hardy.
Arthur Hardy is "nationally recognized as a premiere authority on Mardi Gras in New Orleans". And, he has "worked with" journalists from prestigious organizations such as CNN and USA Today. Can there be a more authoritative voice from someone who apparently holds no advanced academic degrees? So, when Mr. Hardy speaks of the ruling class, we know that the time is ripe for a real revolution beyond Mardi Gras.

McDonalds Video Game: Exposing Evil while Having Fun

I generally frown upon students playing games, as their time would be better spent studying my writings. But with that said, here’s one game that I can recommend—and have enjoyed playing myself.

It’s called The McDonald’s Video Game, and the object is to operate your own McDonald’s restaurant so that you can se first-hand what this business is all about.

Whether you’re a student, an accomplished professor with multiple doctorates , or a child, you can have fun -- while learning the “dirty secrets” that made McDonald’s successful, such as feeding cows industrial waste, destroying rainforests, filling cows with hormones that will pose health risks to consumers, and how the only reason anyone eats at McDonald’s is because the are persuaded by slick advertising.

Myself, being a vegan on his way to being a freegan, I would never consider eating any organic matter anyway (except in the “organic” aisle of the food co-op).

Update: If you don't like games, you can simply take direct action against McDonald's instead.

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Precapitalist Discourse and Neotextual Deconstructivist Theory

Some people are perplexed by the difference between my engaging rhetorical qualities and my more complex contributions in the academic world.

This seeming conflict can be reconciled if one considers that in my blog, I am addressing a lay audience -- perhaps educated, but in no way positioned to comprehend the intricacies of my advanced thought processes. But for those who are so inclined to attempt a venture into the mind of complex intellectual thought, I will now present a particularly timely excerpt from one of my recent lectures. Needless to say, my pupils find my insights invaluable.

Capitalist pretextual theory holds that context comes from communication, given that Marx’s essay on constructivism is valid. “Society is part of the absurdity of culture,” says Marx. The subject is contextualised into a cultural Marxism that includes narrativity as a totality. However, if Baudrillardist hyperreality holds, we have to choose between precapitalist discourse and neotextual deconstructivist theory. And thus, a number of deappropriations concerning the absurdity, and therefore the collapse, of semantic sexual identity exist. In a sense, the subject is interpolated into a surrealism that includes truth as a totality, and is faced with a choice: either reject surrealism or conclude that art is capable of intention, given that truth is interchangeable with reality.

I am, all modesty aside, without equal. But with that said, I did find an interesting paper on the Internet that almost comes close to the quality of my research. My understanding is that this paper also won a very high honor from a respectable journal. Intriguing. I admire the author.

Friday, February 10, 2006

Islamic "Riots" Fault of Wal-Mart

Let's not be misleading: The recent world-wide Islamic "rioting" is legitimate form of dissent in reaction to hurtful cartoons created by insensitive Westerners. I give Muslims credit for their patience; from the establishment of a Jewish state in their vicinity to offensive beauty pageants, they have suffered an incredible amount of abuse.

Indeed, my favorite journal of thought indicates that

“There is nothing courageous about using your freedom of speech to ridicule the beliefs of one of the weakest sections of your society... Muslims were in effect being vilified twice--once through the original cartoons and then again for having the gall to protest them.”

But if we dig a little deeper, we see that the Islamic dissent was instigated by Wal-Mart. How can this be? Very simple. Who gained by the Islamic actions? Here's a hint: Have you noticed how the media have subordinated Wal-Mart's abusive behavior to stories of Islamic dissent?

I argue that since Wal-Mart has gained from Islamic dissent, then they have must have caused Islamic dissent.

If that sounds unreasonable, then think about "9/11". Remember when it was taken for granted that the planes were piloted by Saudis? Well, it didn't take long for Arab scholars to recognize that the big winner of the airplane crashes (and there is still doubt over whether The Pentagon crash actually happened) was Israel. They concluded, quite reasonable, that since the Zionists gained from the crashes, then the Zionists caused the crashes.

If Wal-Mart gained by Islamic dissent, then Wal-Mart caused Islamic dissent.

At a minimum, Wal-mart must come clean about this.

(What a joke. We are still waiting for Wal-Mart to come clean about abusing their own employees! These are people who have been forced to work at Wal-Mart despite better opportunities elsewhere, and then have to endure low wages, discrimination, and arson attacks!)

A good second step should be quantifiable amends.

We the people demand that Wal-Mart:

  • Pay reparations to the Palestinian people,
  • Immediately terminate all business with countries that displayed the highly offensive cartoons,
  • Adopt Sharia laws in their remaining stores, and finally,
  • Voluntarily self-liquidate, and provide lifetime financial security to anyone who they have ever employed.

We the people will not rest until justice has been served.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Musings on Other Cultures VI: Infanticide

The murder of one’s newborn strikes Westerners as savagery—and it first glance, even I can fall into that trap. But those of us of a certain age can remember the insightful words of Professor Leonard Jeffries, Ph.D., who discovered the principle of “ice people” and “sun people”. You see, white people are ice people: Cold and insensitive oppressors of the black people—who are the warm, caring, and humanistic sun-people.

Dr. Jeffries words are now accepted scientific fact, and in the tradition of great scientists, I, Dr. Kurgman, Ph.D, Ph.D, Ph.D, will expand on these principles. (Incidentally, and speaking of nostalgia, do you recall Nobel Laureate Rigoberta Menchu Tum, who told of her suffering and consciousness-raising in “I, Rigoberta Menchu”? I pay tribute to her with phrases like, “I, Dr. Kurgman”.)

My theory (which is actually a fact waiting for an award) is that the further one gets from cold, bitter, white Ice People, the closer one gets to the real moral truths. Note that infanticide is not practiced by white people. Doesn’t that alone speak volumes about its legitimacy? That is, can’t we stop talking about race already, and instead concentrate on People of Color and their contributions? People, this isn’t about dead white history, this is about a living, breathing, and caring world community. A world community.

But even then, infanticide can be justified in the United $tates. (And yes, that was a deliberate spelling, as it is important to remember that we live in a society that is controlled by the filthy profits of illegitimate corporations, with many taking orders directly from Dick Cheney and the Zionists.)

Anyway, infanticide is a moral imperative allowed (if not required) by The Constitution, and codified by Roe vs. Wade. Put another way, if we can’t practice infanticide, then do we have any privacy rights? It’s our bodies, you primitive cave-dwelling right-wing Christian theocrats.

Sadly, we still have much to learn from our betters in other cultures.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Do Not Let Christians Get Away with It

Newspapers around the world are debating whether they should publish the horribly offensive cartoons of The Prophet Mohammed (Peace Be Upon Him). This has nothing to do with freedom of expression, and it has everything to do with maliciously provoking innocent people by defaming the faith that they hold dear.

Yes, freedom of expression has no greater friend than yours truly. And when it comes to pointing out the evils of Christianity, I pull no punches. No, I am not afraid to publish images that offend religious people. This is what freedom means to me: Protecting the people from Christianity (and capitalism).

OK, Mr. Robertson: In the name of your religion, You have threatened the life of Hugo Chavezbut now you have to deal with me!

OK, Bush: In the name of your religion, you have declared war on the world’s minorities to enrich your corporate cronies…but I can exercise my freedom of expression to put you on trial as a fascist murderer!

But people, please! This has nothing to do with Islam! Islam is a force for good. Islam is holy to millions of people. Islam negates Zionism. Islam is love. Therefore, to defame it is to hurt. And we cannot tolerate hurt.

I challenge the right-wing thugs who published those cartoons to apologize and to make amends.

What is wrong with the world today?

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Bushitler's Budget Will Send Us to the Death Camps

From a news article in today’s New York Times:

George W. Bush ran for office as a "compassionate conservative," arguing that Americans did not have to choose between huge tax cuts and a government that would do its part to address social needs like education and health care. Now into his sixth year in the White House, Mr. Bush offered a budget on Monday that showed more clearly than ever the inexorable limits of that political promise

From a news article in today’s Washington Post:

The Bush administration is preparing a budget request that would freeze most spending on agriculture, veterans and science, slash or eliminate dozens of federal programs, and force more costs, from Medicaid to housing, onto state and local governments, according to congressional aides and lawmakers.

Get it, people? This 21st Century Hitler (no, worse than Hitler) is openly starving Americans, prohibiting science, eliminating the social safety net of Federal programs, and placing the burden of everything from health care to housing on the backs of the people.

Need proof? Look at what the senators are saying!

“It represents the same reckless fiscal course the Bush administration has followed for the last five years” – Senator Kent Conrad, (D- ND)

“Bush's priorities are sorely out of whack” – Senator John Kerry (D – MA)

“I think the clear message you can take away from this budget is that for children and families and veterans and seniors, you're on your own.” – Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY)

That’s right people; you’re on your own!

At this point, you probably want an insightful analysis from someone with three Ph.Ds. Well, consider it done!

I opened the books, and this is what I found:

Department of Education spending will be cut by 12% to only $64,000,000,000 – meaning that I will no longer have pupils to educate.

Department of Labor spending will increase by 13% to $53,000,000,000...well, that’s a lie.

Department of Energy spending will remain unchanged at $22,000,000,000. Unchanged? In this day and age? How will the environment be managed? How will have we energy to do anything?

Department of Health and Human Services spending will increase 21% to $698,000,000,000. That’s all? Just 21%? How about expanding the Indian Health Service to the rest of us?

Department of Agriculture spending will increase 8% to $93,000,000,000. With our nation being on the brink of starvation, all you can give us is $93,000,000,000?

And it goes on and on and on like this. With such malicious savagery being dealt to us, we can now fully understand what Hitler was about. This budget is the equivalent of mass deportations to extermination camps.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Betty Friedan, RIP

Speaking as a feminist, I have long had great admiration for Betty Friedan. There are too many ways of remembering this great woman's numerous contributions, but my favorite is summed up in one quote:

"Man is not the enemy here, but the fellow victim"

This summarized the ultimate truth: That everyone is a victim. (Of course, this is a generalization, since not every man is a victim. Not as long as there are misogynists, racists, capitalists, Christians, white heterosexuals, Republicans, Zionists, Haliburton employees, and George W. Bush himself floating around out there.)

Ms. Friedan also realized that women and men are equals (with the above-noted exceptions). And yet, women were being abused. In the workplace, for instance, women were paid much less than men. But thanks to Betty, they are still paid much less, but have nonetheless become empowered. This empowerment, victim empowerment, enabled women to assert their feminism through a new-found identity. So, although were equal to men, women were also simultaneously superior to men.

But despite their equality/superiority, women were still at a disadvantage. And that's why Betty's support for extending the 1964 Civil Rights Act to women was so critical. The mere thought of a lawsuit resulting from firing women has resulted in an extra inducement to hire them. (I cannot explain this phenomena in this short space. Suffice it to say that I have an advanced degree in sociology, and therefore know what I am talking about.)

Betty's accomplishments were not limited to identifying victim classes, setting a foundation for civil litigation, and Virginia Slims. She also fought for gender-free want ads, maternity leave, and legal abortion. Legal abortion was a huge milestone, as it furthered our fight against America's Christian theocracy -- to say nothing of establishing a woman's right to her body and her child, as long as she eventually sends it to a public school.

And paid maternity leave has also greatly encouraged companies to hire young women. In fact, our job will not be done until companies are compelled to pay triple wages to women on maternity leave; after all, having a new child is expensive!

But I am afraid that the goal of gender-free want ads has, sadly, not been realized. A visit to any "singles" site on the Internet will reveal that gender discrimination is ubiquitous; people universally indicate gender in their ads! Perhaps some day, this too will be corrected.

Update: I just read that Betty was a Stalinist Marxist through her 30s. My admiration for this brave woman has increased to heights heretofore thought inconceivable.

Anti-Muslim Cartoons

Out of respect for those who follow the Islamic faith, I will not reproduce vile anti-Muslim cartoons here; instead, I am displaying a different cartoon that asserts my right to free speech.

The question now in front of us is: Does anyone have the right to publish cartoons that depict links between Islam and violence? May I answer that in a professorial manner, with additional questions?

Well then, do white supremacists have the right to publish cartoons advocating the lynching of black people? Do insane right-wing Jews and Christians have the right to speak in defense of Israeli atrocities? Do capitalists have the right to exploit working people for their filthy profits?

The answers to the first two questions can be debated, even if there is no moral defense for their stances. As with the recent depictions of Islam being violent, these are vile ideas that have no place in our world, and yet there are some people who might claim that their freedom of expression cannot be denied. I will leave the final judgment to you, as I am not a judgmental person.

And the answer to the third question, obviously, is an emphatic, "No!"

Saturday, February 04, 2006

The Greatest Good for the Greatest Number

As we know, there is no substitute for expertise, authority, and vision when it comes to liberating people. And therefore, one of the most liberating things that a government can do is to use the power of eminent domain to improve the lives of the many.

Fortunately, The Supreme Court's Kelo vs. New London decision supported this principle by declaring that government "takings" can be justified in the name of economic development. The decision, made last June, will enhance what we value most:

  • Economic development (hopefully without Wal-Mart, McDonalds, Starbucks, KFC, or any business that hires non-union labor, serves Coca-Cola, or deals with Israeli companies)
  • A bigger role for government, made possible with higher tax revenues
  • A realization that capitalism equals failure

Anyway, the main point here is that you can now see a map of every eminent domain case in the country. See if your neighborhood (or house!) will be a candidate for improving the greater good!

The Struggle for South Africa Pays Off

Back in the day, when I was a young scholar at Harvard, I dedicated much of my time to protesting against American corporations that did business in the then-odious South Africa. As intellectual idealists, we saw the world as a place full of hope, as led by other anti-fascist states like the U.S.S.R., East Germany, and China.

Of course, we won, and South Africa now has a black government. And unlike the racist white regime, the new black rulers are enlightened and compassionate, as evidenced by their Black Economic Development programs that redistribute from white people to black people. Although not as enlightened as Zimbabwe's policy of confiscating land from white farmers, it is still the world's most effective affirmative action program -- and certainly more generous than the anemic programs in America.

I was reminded of our South Africa victory this morning when I read that South Africa did not support yesterday's racist vote to refer Iran to the U.N. Security Council. Joining other progressive countries that refused to say "yes" (such as Cuba, Syria, Venezuela, Algeria, Belarus, Indonesia, and Libya), South Africa has once again proven that our struggle was worth it. Ever since, years ago, Nelson Mandela publicly announced his concern for Cuba, Libya, and Iran, I knew that we were headed the right way. And his declaration of Yasser Arafat as an "outstanding freedom fighter" gave me goosebumps.

These days, the life expectancy in South Africa is 43, 16% of the population is illiterate, 50% live below the poverty line, and 25% are unemployed. So, the new South African government is a success, and we can move on to fighting the apartheid regime of the Zionist entity.

Update: South Africa explicity supports Iran! "Those nations which want Iran not to have nuclear weapons should also embark on destroying their own atomic arsenal." It's our two dreams of liberation merging: The overthrow of The Shah meets the overthrow of fascist South Africa! Let South Africa join the world of humane nations!

Friday, February 03, 2006

Musings on Other Cultures V: Blasphemy

Blasphemy is the expression of intolerance towards others' beliefs. And it is, without a doubt, the ultimate microcosm of Western extremism.

To mock or doubt another person's belief system is cruel, insensitive, and very hurtful. And in particular, we are now living in an age when it is apparently deemed acceptable for callous Westerners to ridicule the most holy elements of the Islamic faith.

As you know, I too am enraged by the blasphemous cartoons of Mohammed that were published in Denmark. Tell me: What did this benevolent faith, these peaceful citizens of our planet, do to warrant such vulgar lies and insinuations?

And how else can the victims of such humiliation display their displeasure other than with a pleading cry of "blasphemy!" to an unlistening world? Just as the Palestinian people are forced to use suicide bombers because they do not have a Zionist Army, the people of Islam only have the principle of blasphemy to defend themselves and their culture from a violent and unforgiving West.

We must learn to listen to, and appreciate, other cultures.

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