Monday, January 22, 2007

Book Review: Positively American by Senator Chuck Schumer

I have a dirty little secret: Like many people who I greatly respect, I read very few books. Who has the time when you are obligated to change the trajectory of humankind?

But I have read an advance copy of Senator Chuck "Chuck" Schumer's new book, Positively American.

Or, at least I read the blurb on the jacket. This, I feel, is sufficient to understand the book -- and also sufficient to flatter Senator Schumer (who has no PhDs) with the knowledge that a triple PhD has read his book!

I will cut to the essence of the book:

For example, he [that is, Senator Schumer -- Prof K, Phd^3] proposes to:

• increase the number of college graduates by 50%

• reduce property taxes by 50%

In my view, Senator Schumer has proven again that he is a heavyweight. (Or, actually, to use a less-offensive term, he is "weight-gifted".)

Few initiatives are more essential than raising the number of college graduates, which, I may add, also requires an increase in the number of college professors. Or at least it will require a well-earned pay increase for existing professors.

What needs to be understood is that raising the number of college graduates is not a means to accomplishing anything else. In fact, it is a necessary end in itself. We must have more college graduates. It's that simple. As Senator Schumer says. In his book.

Regarding the other half of his book, I endorse the idea of reducing property taxes by 50% because this will require reducing the amount of private property by 50%. Our goal is to reduce property taxes by 100% by abolishing all private property.

I recommend Senator Schumer's book to you, and I will assign it to my students.


Anonymous said...

Dr. (x3) Kurgman,

How does one obtain THREE Ph.D's without reading books?

Professor Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD said...

Expertise and vision.

Anonymous said...

Dr. (x3) Kurgman,

Of course, like everything you write, this makes 100% perfect sense. Indeed, I have been looking to write my own thesis on the invidious connection between Wal-Mart and Zionist crypto-Nazi attrocities. But what do you make of this?

Professor Kurgman, PhD, PhD, PhD said...

Ms. Anonymous:

I have two responses to your link about Wal-Mart selling the Protocols of The Elders of Zion:

1) The First Amendment and the ACLU guarantee the freedom to say anything to anyone anywhere at any time no matter what. Including the right to send feces through the mail.

2) Wal-Mart is a capitalist monster whose stockholders must be punished in the streets.

I hope that clarifies my position.

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